When is it legally ok to give your infant juice?

Mary Renee - posted on 10/19/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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Hey,

I was wondering when it would be safe to give my five month old juice and how much water I should use to dilute it.

Actually now that I've gotten you attention I really wanted to know about the laws regarding the relocation of the custodial parent. I just put that first because my boyfriend one time saw the first sentence of my post and was suspicious and I want to avoid that.

Anyway, we were never married, but we've lived together for two and a half years. We now have a five month old daughter. She was born here in Hawaii but I want to move back is DC because things between us have gotten really horrible and my whole family lives there and would able to support me while I got back on my feet as a single mother. I have NO family here in Hawaii and it's super expensive to live here. Can I get custody while we still live with her father? Once I get custody, will I have a difficult time relocating? Will my relocation affect the custody case? Will I have a better chance considering she's still breast feeding and we were never married?

Thanks.

p.s. I've never given my daughter juice. Just breast milk, and I let her occasionally have a sip or two of water on really hot days.

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Charolett - posted on 10/19/2011

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buy your plane tickets and leave. You are not married, in order for him to stop you there has to be a custody order in place and then he has to file an objection.

Dee - posted on 08/09/2013

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I would run back home as quickly as possible. You need to establish your status in that state, typically for a few months or so and then you can file your papers there.

Try to keep your plans to your self, contact your family and ask for their help. Wait until he leaves for work and get you and your baby out right away. Or let him know you are just going for a home visit especially with the new baby and never return. Best of luck!

[deleted account]

Susan... IF you file a custody case in the state of Hawaii... neither parent can remove the child from the state while it is still pending. Trust me... I just went through it 2 years ago. Though it MAY be different since she was never married.... I don't think so.

Isobel - posted on 10/02/2011

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Is he abusive? Does he harm the children in any way? Have you weighed the easiness of your life in DC versus the children's right to know and love their father?

I am divorced and I had to fight REALLY hard to be allowed to move 30 minutes away...you are talking about removing them from their father PERMANENTLY...have you looked into the ramifications for your children if they are separated from their father to never know him?

Just sayin' yeah...you CAN move first (which in my humble opinion is kidnapping), or you can accept the consequences of your actions in having a baby in Hawaii with a man who lives in Hawaii.

Connie - posted on 09/28/2011

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Lol, excellent advice already given on the legal situation. I just know that one of my clients just blocked his ex-wife from moving 5 hours away, in the same state, and basically it came down to status-quo. As for the juice, I disagree with what has been written. Research indicates that the concentrated acids in juice are too harsh for little tummies and the new standard is NO JUICE until age 4. Good luck!

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Yvette - posted on 11/29/2014

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It really depends on what type of guy he is and his personality type. If you move back home with your family there will be a chance he will track you down and apply for sole custody and this is what you don't want. It makes NO difference to Judges if you are breast feeding or not as the thing that SO MANY Judges want is that BOTH parents have access to the child as these days they see this as being " in the best interest of the child ". if a Judge does decide this once you start the Court process you may very well not get full time care of your child as more and more Judges these days are giving sole parental care to the fathers. This is happening all around the world. I live in Australia and it is happening to mothers EVERY single day they are losing custody of their children to the fathers for very little reason at all. PLEASE take ALL the precautions you can to avoid this happening to you.

Tina - posted on 10/19/2011

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Hello,

I am not sure about you relocating but a judge once told us that breast feeding is a choice and not a necessity so don't rely on that to help you. Although, good luck and keep records of everything!

Cynthia - posted on 10/16/2011

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if u were never married then you have custody. simply and sadly the father does not have any legal right to the baby.



ETA. he will have to fight u for custody not u fight him

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/16/2011

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In most states the custodial parent only has to inform the non custodial parent of their change of address. But that's only from my experiance and my older daughter's father and I were already divorced and he left of his own free will.

If there is evidence of domestic violence or abuse it is easier for you to get custody. But I would adise looking for a lawyer who specializes in family law first and work on getting custody before moving back to the mainland.

Mary Renee - posted on 10/14/2011

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Hey. To answer some questions, yes - he has been abusive towards me in the past. The police had been called (by neighbors and once by me) but I never pressed charges because he works 6 days a week and I was scared of making him miss work because it would definitely ruin any chance for anything to happen smoothly or cordially.

He has never been abusive to our daughter, although he occasionally do things that are... neglectful... like leave things out that he shouldn't leave out when there is a baby around, but I don't want to incriminate him right now.

He loves his daughter and she loves him, but at the same time, he opened up a mini mart with out even telling me about it when she was 2 months old. He works from 8am-10:30pm six days a week. He only sees his daughter awake on Sundays... and it's his store, he makes his hours, it is his choice to miss out on 82% of his daughter's life already.

Basically I feel like he keeps me around to babysit his daughter so he can see her on Sundays. He barely looks at me or talks to me and I have nobody out here at all - I feel so empty. I came to this state to go to college, I was still paying out-of-state tuition when my daughter was born. It wasn't my intention to live here forever, I want to be back with my family where we have love and support. It's just devastating to me that I can potentially be forced to live in this state I never meant to live in permanently and I never get to live close to my family again. I feel like he has so much control over every aspect of my life and I'm getting so overwhelmed. My subconscious is screaming at me because I know I'm not happy in this situation and it's hard to imagine that I ever could be.

How do I close this thread? I don't want to risk this being up anymore. Please message me any suggestions though.

Kristyn - posted on 10/13/2011

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I know for a fact that courts can force you to stay in the state. I would just "go home for a visit" with the baby and say you aren't coming back. If you (or he) files for custody they can say that the child must remain in the state. My best friend is going thru this. She can not move out of the state of CO with her children since this is where the kids have lived for the last yr. and the papers where filed here. I would try to call a lawyer and ask what the laws are in hawaii but I would be careful. I know that it can affect you if you take off with the kiddo. The courts see that as trying to keep the child from the other parent and it doesn't look good. Good luck to you.....I know this is a rough situation.

Tracey - posted on 10/13/2011

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I would look up the Code for Hawaii on custody. It will spell it out for you in black and white. In Indiana, you have to give 90 days notice through the court and the other parent has 60 days to try to block the move. If they choose to try to block it, it will go to court and the judge will decide if you can move with the child or if the child will have to remain in the state with the other parent.

[deleted account]

Consult a lawyer. In Texas, it is considered acceptable to move as long as you are moving to be near family or for a job. Moving so that the father cannot see his children is not acceptable. So, as long as you're moving for the right reasons...

Andera - posted on 09/30/2011

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You can take your child anywhere and your boyfriend cant do a thing about it. You're the parent the same way he can take her wherever HE wants to and you can't do a thing about it. Because, it's not considered kidnapping police aren't going to get involved in what they consider a "civil matter" ...you can take her to DC any way you choose you dont have to tell him squat, then you can file a restraining order then divorce papers. do what you gotta do.

Terri - posted on 04/19/2011

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custody law vary first but if you have never seeked custody arrangement in any states then it is presumed you have sole custody and control of your child. if you move proir to filing of any paperwork you should be fine

Susan - posted on 10/29/2010

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I think you should see a lawyer for things like child support and visitation. No government or anything can make you stay in Hawaii if you want to move. You're the mother and you can move where you want. However, as the father, he can go after visitation, custody, etc. Is her on the birth certificate? If not, you're free to do as you wish. If so, you'll probably want to establish a shared parenting agreement. I was told by my lawyer several years ago that custody is generally only granted in situations where one parent is a danger to the child. My shared parenting details visitation, child support and any other details on how we want to raise our daughter.

Grace - posted on 10/22/2010

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I forgot, maybe get a juicer and make your own juice, sugar free, preservative free and healthy.

Don't make haste decision w/o consulting a lawyer first. When it comes to children when there are no custody agreements in place and you've been living with the father still, it is not a good idea to just up and go. If you get accused of parental kidnapping. I did a lot reading when I was in the process of filing, you may want to do the same so you know what to avoid while you consult legal help. A good lawyer will keep you informed of what to expect. If you can, avoid any discussions of this matter with your ex. As far as I know, he will receive notification later on after you filed anyway. Cheers.

Grace - posted on 10/22/2010

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Juice is ok so long as it's 100% not one of those high fructose "artificial" falvoured ones passing on as "real". In regards to your question, have you contacted a lawyer yet. the sooner you do so the better. child custody is a hot button issue. However, if there is abuse/violence involved and events have been documented you've got a good chance of fighting him in court esp if it can be proven that having around the child is not a good idea. When it comes to separation, divorce etc... faimly law judges are very concerned abt the child's welfare and whomever they see fit to care for the child, they give custody to. Also, if you're confident that no matter how dirty it gets you'd remain strong and steadfast knowing that there's nothing in this world your ex can throw @ you to prove you're an unfit parent. I would suggest consulting a lawyer, I think there are ones that offer free consultations. From what I understand (I have full custody of my kids)
Under most conditions, state laws provide that biological parents make all decisions that are involved in rearing their child—such as residence, education, medical care, and religious upbringing. Parents are not required to secure the legal right to make these decisions if they are married and are listed on the child's birth certificate. However, if there is disagreement about which parent has the right to make these decisions, or if government officials believe that a parent is unfit to make the decisions well, then family courts or juvenile courts will determine custody. Like you, I've never been married and so I had to seek a lawyer to gain full custody. I am a dual citizen of two countries (making my case trickier) so where I filed the petition, that country's laws apply. However, if I do move back to America I think I may have to consult my lawyer again. Anyway, back to your situation
most states' criteria allow courts to modify custody only when the circumstances of the custodial parent or of the children—not of the noncustodial parent have changed.

Also, from what I understand where a child's parents were never married, most states provide that the child's biological mother has sole physical custody (this is why it is vital he cannot argue that you are unfit) unless the biological father takes steps to have himself considered for custody. Those steps include obtaining a court's finding of paternity and filing a petition for custody. In some states, this is a bifurcated (i.e., two-step) process; in others, the two steps are combined. An unwed father usually cannot win custody from a mother who is a good parent, but he may have priority over other relatives, foster parents, or strangers who want to adopt his child later on. The fact that he is not consistent with paying child support shows a lot about his capacity as a parent.

The best advice would be seek legal help. Doesn't the govt provide free legal assistance? If so, file for a custody asap if you do want to separate from him permanently that way you can sleep easy at night. Good luck.

Eliz - posted on 10/22/2010

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From what I know you have legal custody already being the birth mom. If he wants custody, even though his name is on birth certificate, he has to file a petition to establish custody. I would deffinately move prior to starting any kind of court case.

Meagan - posted on 10/22/2010

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Moving first IS the best option, as long as HE doesn't file for custody. In AZ, custody battles are in the court of the childs residence, which is where ever they've lived for the past 6 months (I believe its 6 months.), and I THINK that may be a universal US policy, but I'm not 100% sure. So, you want to make sure, because if you move and he files the papers, you are flying back to hawaii for court, AND it'll make you look really really bad IN court. So, how much of a dead beat is this guy? Seriously.

Talk to a lawyer before making your decision.

[deleted account]

If you file for custody while in Hawaii... you will not be allowed to leave the state until custody is final. Move first and get established in a new location (for a few months)... THEN file. Just make sure he can't find you before you file.

And at 5 months all she NEEDS is breastmilk. :)

[deleted account]

first off, it is fine to give her juice. my pediatrician said to give her one ounce white grape juice and one ounce of water. also helps with constipation. Regarding you leaving to DC from Hawaii. I think that if you move out and relocate before you get a court order to try to get custody of the child you will have a better chance of being able to relocate. I think that if there is a pending case of custody issues you are not allowed to move more than 100 miles away. So, if I were you I would first ask an attorney. Actuallyy, I have many friends that are attorneys and deal with family law. I will ask them what you should do. I dont think you can get custody while you still live with him. If you think about it , it doesnt make muuch sense. I would first arrange your flight to DC, after you have done that I would pack up all of your things on the day that you are supposed to fly out while he is not home so that you avoid any type of confrontation or abuse. Then when you get to DC file for custody and child support in DC. Get a lawyer if you have to or just get a consultation so that you know you are taking the right steps. But, I am almost positive that if you file for custody and the case is pending you will not be able to relocate until the case has been closed. So, I would leave and deal with it when you get to DC. You are in fear of your life and your child's life. It is not a safe or healthy environment and is only going to get worse. I will contact some of my lawyer friends in the morning and message you with their advice. Good Luck girl! And I am proud that you are getting out of there! Protect yourself and your baby!

[deleted account]

And one more thing - there is a board called "custody issues" which is closed to the general public - aka your boyfriend. you can post there in general safety - as long as he doesn't log in to your CoM account.

[deleted account]

You are a funny girl - giving an infant juice! haha! Okay - in all seriouseness,

GO SEE A LAWYER! The laws very from state to state - and only a lawyer will be able to accurately assess your case and give you reliable advice. Most lawyers offer free or low cost consultations.

What I CAN tell you - if you BOTH are on the birth certificate and you live together, it is basically as if you were married in the eyes of custody.
The other thing is status quo - courts like to maintain status quo. So "move aways" are VERY hard as it breaks with the status quo.

Don't feel like all it lost or hopeless - I moved my son 2.5 hours away from his father - legally. But it defintly was tricky and I am glad I had a lawyer!

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