How to stop a 4 yr old from cursing?!

Valerie - posted on 09/07/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )




I have a 4 yr old who's father has never been in his life. My husband of the other son who is 8 months has been raising him since he was 1. My son sees his biological father from time to time, (once or twice every 3 months). My son is very smart and picks up very fast. We've been having problems with him not listening, cursing, and acting up. My husband feels like he shouldn't be the one to discipline him, because it hurts him to get onto because he is not his biological father. My husband is always there for him, tries talking to him and tries to distract him with sports but nothing seems to work. I am his mother and I feel like a bad parent because he won't listen to me except his biological father who isn't around. Its very embarrassing for us when we're out in public. Please give me any suggestions on how to change this habbit. I'm affraid of how this might affect him when he starts school next yr.


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Sara - posted on 08/05/2011




Valerie, my daughter repeats everything we say, if we slip up and say a curse word we just speak with her and tell her that we are sorry that we said it and she shouldn't say it, it's not a nice word. Usually she takes it pretty good, sometimes she'll get excessive and ask why over and over again but I just continue to explain to her then ask her to repeat what I said "it's an adult word and shouldn't be said, it is not a nice word" Good Luck Stay Strong and sorry to Casey but NEVER put soap in a child's mouth it's poisionious if they consume it!

Casey - posted on 04/28/2011




i might be alittle harsh , but mama you are the MOM put soap in that kids mouth and be the authority figure he needs and don't back down!!!

[deleted account]

I don't know if this will help you or not, but when my husband or I slip our "words" around our 3 year old and he repeats it, we tell him that that word is a "mama/daddy" word and he is not allowed to say that. That it's a bad word and mama or daddy shouldn't have said it either, so he shouldn't say it. He usually takes that fine and we don't hear about it again.

Felicia - posted on 09/12/2010




My son who is now 8 also only had minimal contact with his father, but would come home with the worst habits and would not want to listen at all. First, you need to let him know the rule; write them down and put them up if you think that will be more helpful. Second, come up with discipline methods you intend to use consistently. Next, stay strong and use those methods whenever he acts out. When he's done being punished, remind him of the rules. Last, reward positive behavior. I got my son a Kung Fu Panda goal chart that he absolutely loved. Together, we'd come up with a prize and a number of stickers he had to earn to get it. I'll tell you that he was very much into earning his prize and really watched his behavior. Over time, the good behavior became his nature.

It isn't easy, but you can do it. There was a short period of time (several months) that he did see his dad every weekend and would come home Sunday a holy terror. Now that he's 8, the erratic behavior has worn off a bit. He almost never sees his dad, but when he does, I don't spend days getting him back to MY little boy. You're going to be ok, be strong .

Julie - posted on 09/10/2010




where is he learning these words from. children mimick what they see and hear so he picked them up somewhere. thats the place to start. explain to people who sware in front of children that it is not acceptable in front of your child and would they please try to kerb the language. (nicely of course you dont want to loose friends over it). then explain to your son that these are bad words. every time you hear him tell him that word is a naughty word and he mustnt say it. make sure you tell him the word though because he can muddled from any word in the sentence he just spoke. every time he carries on saying it treat it like any other naughty thing and use punishment the naughty step or what ever you do. it is the adults that say the words that our children pick up so we need to teach the adults better language before we have any hopes of stopping the kids repeating it. good luck

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