How are your children doing socially?

Sonja - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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This is something that is very close to my heart. I see Brandon, who is very handsome, dresses very trendy, and is a performer and he has lots of kids who like him, but no close friends. No one calls him on the phone. No one invites him to do things on the weekend. He doesn't date. He sits at home and plays his computer game, does homework, and watches movies with his dad on the computer. He is 17. We just met with his high school teachers yesterday. He sits on one side of the room and all the other kids sit on the other side of the room. What's with that?



The teachers are going to change the seating arrangement without spotlighting Brandon. Brandon feels like all the kids hate him. His teachers don't see that. But they have been seeing Brandon withdraw and shut himself off from others.



I did start a Social Skills class with Brandon. I am hoping it will make a difference. I am doing with with all of my totally blind students in the schools. Brandon said that it was very helpful. The other students have been practicing what I have been teaching and their teachers say it is making a huge difference in the way the students are interacting with those that are sighted.



What have you noticed?

13 Comments

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Grace - posted on 05/28/2012

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when i was a kid i did dance classes and loved them and i met new friends now where all moms and hang out as friends. to know how your children are doing socially add up how much classes/dance classes/ect. your kids are doing then ask how many friends and enemies (if you think 'enemies' isnt the right word ask them how many people they dont like) they have got.

Amy - posted on 08/12/2010

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I was very social but enjoyed being with the adults. But eventally I met friends and was and still am very social.

Sonja - posted on 12/06/2009

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How wonderful to hear about your son, Brian, Julia. I hope that he continues to pursue his music. Church youth groups vary. Some are really friendly and inclusive and others are not. We have experienced both types with Brandon as he has grown up.

Julia - posted on 09/23/2009

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My son Brian is 15 and he is active in music also but I think the thing that brought him out of his shell was being active in a youth group at church. The kids were less critical (mean) and he had something in common with them (going to the same church). Julia

Sonja - posted on 09/14/2009

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Laura, Hadley has some excellent courses. Thank you for sharing about this one.

Sonja - posted on 09/14/2009

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Stephanie, thanks for sharing. That is so awesome! I love to hear that children are having positive social experiences. Brandon has his first girlfriend at 17! What a change in our lives! BTW, Brandon is cast in Fiddler on the Roof and Hello Dolly. If you are in the Bay Area, let me know and I will give you the dates so you can go!

Stephanie - posted on 08/26/2009

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My daughter will be 7 in September. She's been blind since birth. When she was little, I worried about whether she would have friends. That turned out to be a non-issue for her. She's extremely social and has always had friends. A few of the things we've done are to create an extensive backyard playground so other kids would want to visit. We've always invited every classmate and the parents to her birthday parties and we try to arrange playdates as often as possible. She's also taken, or is currently taking, gymnastics, music, swimming, tap/ballet, and yoga classes and she is a Girl Scout. Her TVI and teachers have done a great job of helping facilitate friendships and teaching the other kids blindness etiquette. She's been mainstreamed in school (first Montessori and then public) since she was 3 years old. One of my happiest moments was last year when her kindergarten teacher told me my daughter was a social butterfly!

Laura - posted on 08/22/2009

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Hadley School for the Blind also has several correspondence courses that specifically deal with Social Skills. And parents/family members can enroll and take as many courses as they would like for free. It has been a great resource for me.

Sonja - posted on 08/13/2009

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The Social Skills Curriculum I use I got from Exceptional Teaching Aids. Ahbee's TVI should be familiar with that company. www.exceptionalteaching.com You can look at the one that says Social Skill Activities for Special Children. I use the Social Skills Activities for Secondary Students. As a TVI, I make sure I teach children social skills and I also have disability awareness assemblies and hands-on presentations in classrooms so sighted children know how to include a child who is blind in ther play.

Joy - posted on 08/12/2009

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My oldest daughter, Ahbee, is blind. She is 9 and will start third grade in a couple of weeks. Most kids at the school know her, and lots of kids say, "Hi, Ahbee," but they don't say their own name. At recess last year she usually stood by the teacher, while the other girls ran around the playground.

I would love to know what is in the Social Skills class and how to help her make friends.

Sonja - posted on 05/24/2009

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Brandon is a Junior in his high school program. He is attending a Middle College program through our local community college. This Saturday evening they are having their Prom. It will be a masquarade and they are having karaoke. Brandon will be singing a song and doing a choreographed dance with it. He is not taking a date. He says he is not interested in inviting a girl so he is going by himself.

Sonja - posted on 05/20/2009

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Brandon got a callback for Dauntless and he went to his second audition last night. We haven't heard anything today so he may not have been cast. Still waiting to know for sure.

Sonja - posted on 05/17/2009

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Today Brandon auditioned for the musical, Once Upon a Mattress. He had to sing, perform a monologue, and do a choreographic audition. Since he is blind, he could not see what everyone was doing in the group for the choreo. Sunnyvale Players were very nice and accommodating and had him work with the choreographer individually and then perform by himself the dance steps for the casting directors. My heart was warmed by their wonderful spirit.

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