Today is the 2 year anniversary for the passing of my childrens father...jsut need to talk.

Tammy - posted on 01/27/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )




My children are now 15 and 19 years old. There father passed away 2 years ago today and there grandmother 2 years ago yesterday. My daughter was a major daddy's girl so she has cried for the last couple days. My son tries to be strong and shows his pain with rage and anger. There still trying to deal with his birthday and father's day. When there dad passed my daughter had just turned 13 on December 6th and my son was 17 and in his senior year of high school. They did get that last christmas with there dad and grandma. It was a good christmas for them. There dad had to go to Kansas to get a car that his parents had given him so he was gone for abut a week. He hadnt been home in almost 10 years so i think this was a good thing. My daughter didnt like him being away from her though, he had to call her almost every hour. There father and i had been seperated for 10 years, but did keep a very loyal relationship. He was a good dad no matter how we felt about each other. But like i said we had a very solid friendship, we just couldnt live together. Nate was for sure a very unique individual. He was very intimidating to those who didnt know him. But to us he was a big baby. My kids had him wrapped around there fingers. Nate had also moved on with his life and had 2 other children who were 4 and 7 i think at the time of his death. I love them dearly, they look like my baby girl at different times in her life. My daughters and I were checking on there grandma who had surgery 3 days prior and when we found her, she was gone. She had went to sleep and never woke up. It was peaceful but devistating. She was only 53. We had to go to the funeral home the next day. When we came home from the funeral home the next day, we received a call from the step mother of my children. She had come home from work and found there father dead. Her 2 little babies were with him all day. I never in my life imagined the day that i would have to give my kids such horrible news and watch them break. Part of me wanted them to be younger and easier to forget, part of me was thankful that they had so many beautiful memories with him. And part of me still cries for what his other daughters will never have, and a huge part for what was taken from the 4 of them. And then theres Diana (step mother), she suffered such a loss and her soulmate. She honestly made him a changed man. I feel for her and wish she would have never had to go through that. Today was hard on all of them. Diana took my children out to dinner so they could all talk and comfort one another. Six months after Nate died, his only son graduated high school. His baby girl is a freshman and has went to her first dance. His other daughters are growing like weeds and look like there big sister and a spitting image of there dad. Diana if you ever see this I hope you know I look at you like a strong woman. I know he's with you because you do things that remind me of him. I hope your time with him has givin you the passion and drive that is in all of his children. And Nate you were taken to soon I know for a fact. We'll meet again. We miss you and love you.


Melissa - posted on 03/24/2010




Oh Tammy, I am so sorry for your loss, what a beautiful post. Both heartfelt and sad, but with the feeling of hope and faith. My son was just 3 when his Dad passed, and it is 17 years ago, TODAY. It sucks for all children with lost parents. He doesn't have too many memories of his own, but has heard about him his whole life, He is now a grown man of 20. My Mom died of cancer when I was 15, that was 27 years ago... My memories are strong of her and still with the feelings of being cheated. She didn't see me graduate from High School or College and never met her grandchildren. You see, no matter when someone we love dies, IT SUCKS! IT HURTS AND you have EVERY right to feel that loss for both you, your children, Diana and their children. EVERYONE lost the day he died, and also losing their Grandmother at the same time, I can't imagine THAT kind of DEEP pain.

Sweetie, be there like you have been for your kids, no matter how angry they look, your son is so sad, anger is the only safe option.

Stay close to Diana and her young children because as they grow up they will have questions or ask for some memories that you and your kids only have. Like, did he like apples or oranges best? What was his favorite ice cream? Do you think he misses us? Those were questions I had to field from my son...

Sitting here in tears as I think of your long journey to come makes me feel releaved to have survived those first painful years. Be careful, I kind of asked God to wake me up in a year when it didn't hurt so bad.. He waited like 10 years, well I did... I lived on auto pilot for many many years. I worked in medicine ( a degree I got 1 month after he died) I remarried and had another child who is now 14. What I am saying is that when my heart finally alligned with my brain, I looked around and life had passed.... I realized the day he died, I died too. The only difference was I was still on earth.

Be in your life... God Bless You and your family...


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