A Way to Strength

Dianne - posted on 06/19/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




Wow! When I started this message board, I watched it for the first few weeks & there was no activity. As the rest of you, I lead my own ultra-busy life & kind of pushed this aside. Recently I decided to check in to see how things were progressing because I kept getting messages reminding me that I haven't been on for awhile.

I am SO in awe of all the strong moms you are!!! Having a child with OCD is not easy. It can be a full-time job on its own. Patience is always at a premium. As my son's therapist and psychiatrist say, "OCD waxes & wanes." I thought it interesting that they BOTH said that...many times. So I guess that is one thought for you to remember. When the days aren't so good & it seems like things are taking a downward spiral, remember, it will get better. Keep looking forward to that day.

Most of you, it appears, have children that have been diagnosed either around the time they are early in school, 5 or 6, or closer to adolescence, around 11 or 12. My son was diagnosed around that 11-12 age, but certainly didn't just show symptoms then. As one of you said, I knew something was wrong for awhile, but couldn't pinpoint what it was. Or maybe wasn't sure where to go to find out? Although my son was diagnosed in 5th grade, in retrospect, I clearly know that he had symptoms as early as 2. It was a struggle through all his childhood to get his socks & shoes to feel "right." Even when he was old enough to put on his own, he would become so frustrated that I would help him out. Put the sock on. Wiggle your toes. No, it doesn't feel right. Readjust the sock. No, take it off. Take off the sock& put it back on. Try to line up the seam on the top of the toes in such a way that it can't be felt. Oh, that's not the right sock. It belongs on the other foot. HE could see that it was a right-footed sock, I couldn't. After 7 or 8 attempts we would finally get at least a tolerable fit on that foot so it was time to get to the other foot, same routine. Then the shoes. On-off-on-off. Line up that seam so it's not irritating in the shoe. Tie. Too tight. Loosen. Not right. Readjust laces. Okay, try it. Tie. Try again...and so each morning went. One of MY happiest memories of my son's pre-school childhood was the year he thought cowboy boots were the greatest thing! He wore them ALL SUMMER without a struggle & I loved it! :-)

I agree that the Chansky book mentioned in one of the early conversations from one of the threads is the best reference book I have used. If you have, or think you have, a child with OCD, find a good resource book & borrow or buy it. I think eventually you will want your own copy to mark like a textbook. You will need it multiple times!

Keep on writing posts to others. Your examples that are similar, your encouragements, your ideas of how to solve something or answers to questions are pricesless & that is truly what helps many people get through tough times with an OCD child.

Those who said others just don't understand are so true! And when you try to explain what made an event or a day so hard, it all seems trivial, doesn't it? I guess that's because it really should BE trivial, but it isn't to an OCD person...or his/her parent. It can make or break a day.

I'll write again soon & we can focus on how much help do we give our child vs. when they are manipulating...or do they ever do that?

Have a good weekend! Sincerley, -dianne


[deleted account]

The part about the socks... omg.. this was a daily thing fo rmy son as well -the past school year every am it was just like that! My 7 year old son has Tourettes and ADHD - he was just recently diagnosed with OCD, but all the "things" before that just never had a "name" finally came into place. We finally know what we are dealing with and with that little bit of knowledge - we are ready to take on the world. :)

thank YOU for your post - you have lended a smile into a heavy heart today. :)

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