Changing bedrooms

Danadoo1013 - posted on 02/25/2017 ( 17 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have a blended family. The kids are 22,21,15,13 and 6. After a rough 8 months we had the 21 year stepdaughter leave our home. My husband doesn't want to convert any of the kids rooms because he wants them to know they always have a place in our home. I think this is a nice sentiment but truly feel this is ridiculous. We have made the decision his daughter will not live in our home again. I would like to shuffle the kids around seeing that our 6 year olds room was once part of our bedroom but we converted because we ran out of bedrooms. I need help! How can I help him see that we're not keeping shrines for any of our kids when they move out?

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Danadoo1013 - posted on 02/26/2017

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Thanks,Sarah!
My husband and I both agree she will not be returning to our home...ever. She is leaving with her mom and we both said her next step should be a place of her own. Unfortunately, from what her brother has told us she doesn't take ownership for her behavior and in the past two months she has made no changes. It's really sad.
I know my husband is still coming to terms on how things played out and realizing that as of right now his daughter is toxic for all of us.
I'm thinking that waiting till May will give him enough time to fully digest everything that has occurred and stop blaming himself. We enabled her behavior and her mother continues to do so. When we asked her to leave she only took a small portion of her belongings. I have packed everything else up and throughly cleaned the room and bathroom.(I took out 9 bags of trash!)
My next step is to move everything to our attic. I'm trying to be thoughtful and mindful of my actions because I don't want to hurt my husband while he's still trying to accept that his daughter clearly said to all of us "screw you."

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Danadoo1013 - posted on 02/25/2017

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Ok...
My husband and I talked and discussed a lot before,during and presently. Life,families etc... are not black and white. We both made responsibilities etc... crystal clear. When she crossed those lines we asked her to leave. She gave her older brother a bag of weed and a pipe as a birthday present while we were at restaurant. Our family saw it, no one else. That's why their were no police involved.
Our situation has been heartbreaking. We never wanted her to leave nor did we ever think she would act this way. Especially in front of our younger children. Unfortunately she has given us no other choice. We haven't had any contact with her since the end of December. I have made it clear I won't do this again. If he would like to see her and have dinner that's up to him but I'm not putting myself and our other children in harms way again.
I would like to move the kids into new rooms so that were not sharing a room with our 6 year old. That is all.

Danadoo1013 - posted on 02/25/2017

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Did you discuss everything with your husband before you got married? Things come up. I never ever thought we would have gone through half the situations we have. We have an amazing relationship. This would never cause a break in that. I was looking to the community on their experiences not your judgement.

Danadoo1013 - posted on 02/25/2017

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My husband doesn't just feel this way about my stepdaughters bedroom it's all of the kids. She failed out of college last April and moved back home. Pretty much her behavior was out of control and disrespectful. Smoking weed in our house,lying constantly. Losing multiple jobs and then cursing me out because I asked her to lock the front door when leaving our home and then giving the 22 year old a pipe and bag of weed in front of the younger children and my husband in a public restaurant.

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