College student comes home for the summer...

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[deleted account]

She is now an adult staying in your home, not a child. Help her keep her sense of independence by not picking up after her, doing her laundry etc. Since she is an adult, common courtesies still apply - if she is going to be out late she should let you know, if she is bringing guests home she ought to give you 5 minutes warning etc. Don't expect her to be your best buddy, she will demand privacy to maintain her growing independence. Her views on morality have probably changed a bit since she left, don't let her opinions throw you off, she will be looking to challenge you and enlighten you. :) but really wants a good discussion. Don't let her views or opinions hurt your relationship, becoming an adult is a heady thing and views at 20 are not the views we hold when 25, 30 etc. Good luck cause this is where it gets interesting.

Lori - posted on 05/18/2009

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I have a son who is a senior in college. As far as a curfew goes, he does not have one when he is home. I just ask that he tells us what his plans are for the evening and whether or not he is coming home. I ask him to call if his plans change. I've learned to shut the door to his room if it is messy and let him clean it up on his schedule. Everyone in the house pitches in for laundry. I just basically expect him to have the same courtesies that everyone who lives in house is expected to have- picking up after one's self, helping with some of the chores, letting others know where you're going and when to expect you home. House rules are house rules regardless of age.

Anne - posted on 05/06/2009

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Our 2 daughters are away at college. The oldest daughter works a lot so she does not get home very often. We live in MI and she goes to school in NC. Our youngest daughter goes to college in CA so we only see her during holiday breaks and summer. Although this summer she will only be home for about 10 days. She will go back to CA to work in the schools financial aide office. It is much easier to get a less expensive apartment in the summer, so when she was asked to work this summer she took the job. With our youngest the only real rules, were no miner friends drinking out at the fire circle,or anywhere else on our property, if she was going to change her plans and stay over to a friends house over night she needed to call. She was driving our car so she also needed to be home early in the morning so her dad could get to work on time. She was great at helping out and cooking anyway so that was never an issue. It is different, your "Parenting" years are behind you with your daughter. Now you will be her advisor and supporter. Some times my daughters and I are friends, but most of the times it depends on what is going on. You will do fine with your daughter as long as you both respect each other and treat each other with love.

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Sherry - posted on 05/22/2009

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OMG! My Daughter came home in May after completing freshman year. I was very glad to see her but, quickly remember how I love having the house to myself!!! LOL! I have to reprogram myself all over again. Thank god I only have one.

Dr. Peggy - posted on 05/21/2009

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Having done this for 2 - think JOBS and ROAD TRIPS. I did ask that I know when they were going out, approximate return times and a call if there was a change in times; not a curfew, but keeping their old mom from worrying. JOBS = wait staff is good. They get $$ and don't have to ask for an allowance and most wait staff are around their ages so they have people to go out with. AND (for you) they get up and out of the house at regular times. ROAD TRIPS = I got this advice from a book about surviving your kids' college years. Road Trips take up a lot of mental energy on their parts and YOU GET YOUR HOUSE BACK FOR THE LENGTH OF THE TRIP. And that helped me a lot. It also helped to remind myself that they were out of my care, custody, and control for the past months. I trusted them then. I needed to trust them now. PBB

Leslie - posted on 05/19/2009

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My son is a sophomore. I ask him to text me if he is not coming home and let me know where he is. Sometimes the text doesn't come until 6am, but I would rather he stay out than drive when he shouldn't.

Deannamancini - posted on 05/05/2009

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I am still amazed how much my daughter has changed. Especially after joining ZTA her sorority. I cannot wait to see how the next few years change for her. Its like a speed of change.

[deleted account]

She is 3 hrs away and on but the other side of Georgia. We have seen her frequently but this will be different with her home everyday. She is not the kind of kid that stays out late but just anxious about the transition for both mom & daughter. I know she has grown up so much since last August.

Deannamancini - posted on 05/05/2009

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my daughter 20 is also coming home. I am a little nervous. Last year she lived here, this year she stayed at the dorms. I guess from what others told me, set rules and other than that its going to be just as when they were in HS. Rules, work, help with laundry (especially since we know they knw how). How far away did your daughter go?

[deleted account]

My college student daughter is coming home in two weeks. I am worried about how to parent or not parent a college student who is now 19 yrs old. Any suggestions?

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