Kicked Out...Now What?

M - posted on 02/20/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )




My daughter, who is 18, is a pathological liar. I have wrongly tried to deal with this since she was in elementary school. I changed the locks on my doors 3 weeks ago and she is living with my brother going to college. The problem is that she is continuing to lie about school and other things. She is failing her classes but states she is doing well, not realizing I can see what is going on.

I'm at a loss and so is my brother. He has only asked her to keep her room clean. She has lost ALL friends and her job due to lying as well. Can someone please give me some suggestions?


Ev - posted on 02/20/2017




She is 18 years old and an adult. She is going to have to learn things the hard way apparently. Your brother needs to make her sign a contract with terms in it for paying rent/utilities, having a job and/or going to school, keeping her room and the areas of the house she uses neat and clean, keeping up her grades, and whatever else is necessary. If she can not abide these things then she needs to move out.


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Loves2readYA - posted on 02/24/2017




I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. We want to protect and care for the people we love.

It seems to me she's crying out for something. She's in a bad place in her heart and mind, and perhaps feels as if lying is the only way she's accepted. That's a heart and confidence issue.

I agree with the other commenter, that perhaps a contract with your brother is a good idea. I don't know how much that would make her change. One consequence of this behavior would be to steer her towards counseling. So, for instance, are you paying for school? If so, maybe make payment of school conditional on her going to counseling. Or staying at your brother's house is conditional on her going to counseling.

She's at a crossroads. Let's give her some help that will steer her onto the right path. Love never fails, so if she has an abundance of love and acceptance, it may make a positive difference. She's probably feeling "controlled" and is rebelling against that.

Praying for her right now...

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