Hi, Im new to this circle and wanted to introduce myself..

Melissa - posted on 04/05/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )




My name is Melissa and I have a 3yr old son who is the light of my life. He's a pretty tough child and Im trying to find ways to parent positively. I have been a pre-school teacher/daycare provider for 9yrs and have seen many children with all types of personalities throughout that time. I have been able to work with them if they have had behavioral issues, but seem stuck when it comes to my own child.

My son comes to work with me everyday and bullies the other children. I believe he is jealous of the attention that I give to the other children, but at the same time I give him lots of attention. He hits them, punches, kicks, pulls hair, destroys their toys that they are building with, pushes, basically anything thats destructive besides bitting. I am very frustrated and at times wanted to quit my job bc I cant handle it. Last week he pushed a child off the playset which is VERY high up and I was able to catch the child in mid air bc I was standing right there. But what if I wasnt? I feel overwhelmed having to be on top of him constantly. I cant have the other children get hurt. I use time-outs in a pack n play bc he will not stay on a stair or corner. He comes out and does it all over again. I have spanked him, but he laughs at me. I am not a spanker but I didnt know what else to try. Ive re-directed with no help. Outside of school hes a very loving, sensitive child, but still has moments of destructive behavior. Its a fight to get him in his car seat, go to the store, go to bed ect. He is able to talk, but has trouble saying whats on his mind. Ex: Can I play with you? Instead he gets the childs attention by smacking them. On play-dates with other children who are not in daycare, he is an angel, plays so nicely.

There has been some issues going on at home which Im sure aggravated this behavior even more. In Oct. I became pg with our 2nd child, but was very sick up until I had our 2nd son at 5 months pg. Our son did not make it. So, for those 5 months he saw a sick mommy and then a sad mommy. He is extremely anxious that I am going to leave him again. He didnt understand that I was in the hospital. If me or his father go out of his sight while with a family member he becomes hysterical crying for us.

Im sorry this is so long, but it felt good to get it all out. If anyone has any suggestions for me it would be greatly appreciated!


Tannisha - posted on 05/07/2010




Wow, I sympathize with you. It sounds like you're having a really rough time. I worked for Child and Youth Services in the Child Development Center on a military installation. They have a policy that your child cannot be in the same room that you work in for that exact reason. I would suggest putting him in another room in your center or possibly another child care facility. I don't have any experience with the physical aggression your little boy is showing... like you did, I was only trained to redirect the children and have them apologize. Although, I think you are right. Maybe the child you lost and the huge changes that have happened in his life are effecting his behavior. I know when we moved my daugther had a very hard time. Life changes are hard on little ones. Keep up the good work and with time I'm sure he'll come around. :)

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms