Serious cry for help !!

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

HI all mums
To start off I am not a mum myself I am a 21 year old girl who just lost her mum in January
I have since took over the house and am now playing mum without wanting to. really hoping you can all help me resolve my life so I can move forward and finally grieve

my 19 year old brother is running me into sever depression and seclusion. When my mum got ill with cancer he was very selfish and didnt help out or even want her to come home at some points. Since she passed we have been living together on our own in my mums house, me being the tenancy holder.
He is slowly putting his life down the drain and dragging me with him, he lies in bed all day and his friends walk in and out of here like a doss pit, they eat my food, they disrespect the house and my dogs and most importantly they smoke and deal cannabis from my house. In the past he has come close to hitting me through silling arguments about small things such as electricity bills, he wont stop untill i shut up and he gets his own way, he sees it as his house and wont take orders from me or my family. i constantly dont know whos in my house as they just all walk in and out and do as they please. I'm currently in a position where i cant have people in as its stinks of cannabis and is a mess, i am also trapped in my room all the time with my dogs so that i know they are safe and arnt being mistreated.
I've become very depressed and am working 2 jobs to look after the place. there is no way i can talk to him without it turning into a domestic and i'm terrified of him even though im older. I really dont know what to do. I'm scared to present him with the kicking him out situation and me and my gran are just at the end of our tether with him. he pays what he feels like paying and is constantly running over phone bills. I dont want to have to move me and my dogs when the house is mine. i just want to be able to live a normal life, redecorate and have a stress free recovering from my mums death.
please someone help me im really desperate.


Amanda - posted on 07/12/2012




Like Amy said, if the house is legally yours, evict him. Involve the police if you have to. I don't know what the laws are where you live, so look them up before just calling the police and saying he's dealing marijuana from your house. You wouldn't want them to seize your stuff.

Amy - posted on 07/12/2012




If the house was left to you I would start the process of eviction. You can also contact the police and let them know that he is dealing out of the house. Contact a lawyer to get advice on going about the eviction and what rights you have to limiting his friends access to the house until he himself is evicted. Since he's living there I doubt you can charge the friends with trespassing.


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Vicki - posted on 07/18/2012




I agree legal help is needed; Do you have anything saying you own the house or lease? without that you're up a creek- unless you have a will that says you own the house then he has as much right to it as you, unfortunately. Does your gran live there also? If you feel unsafe it's not worth the stress on you and the dogs (they DO feel that stress also) to try to stay in that house with him. Are his "friends" the kind who would retaliate on you if you do turn him in or call the police?
I would call and talk with someone or just go t the police station and talk with someone in the domestic violence and/or narcotic division and bring whatever proof you have- (pictures-don't bring any cannibis- lol ) and just tell them what's going on. They will be the ones who can give the best advice, especially as I'll bet they know or have heard of at least some of the kids you are dealing with.

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