Did you ever think you might not want any more babies because...

Selia - posted on 01/19/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )




...Did any of you moms ever think you might not want any more babies because you think you could never be so interested in, or in love with another like you are with your first? Serious question. I can't imagine having others at this point, I love being able to have such one-on-one time in the beginning, and subsequent babies don't truly get it unless there is a big age gap, which I don't foresee either. I could seriously see adopting a child a couple years old or older out of the foster care system, but not having any babies. I feel like I could love older kids equally, just no other babies. Is this just me? Or has anyone else felt this?


Tanya - posted on 02/19/2010




I think all women go through something like this. You can't imagine how much you are going to love your first baby then they get here and its this instant infactuation you adore them like no other. I was the same way! I got pregnant when my oldest was almost 2 I couldn't imagine how I could love another like my oldest, all through my pregnancy I was worried about this. What no one ever told me was that the moment I heard my baby cry after she was born the same emotion would come over me just like with my first. I never knew how much a human heart could love untill my second child was born I have a third now and it's amazing how your heart can hold so much love I could have a few more (not that it would be very wise, I think I'd have to talk to my husband about that first...lol) but to know my heart will grow and can have that same emotion for all my children is wonderful to me and why would I want to keep that to myself? The way you are feeling now is normal but if you become pregnant or do plan to have another later, what your heart is capable of will leave you stunned...

Jodie - posted on 02/19/2010




oh my god.... i so felt like that. I got pregnant really quickly after my first (they are 17mths apart). I new i would love hte baby, but couldnt imagine loving anyone as much as my first. I ythought i would be a horible mum to the new baby,. But as soon as she arrived it was amazing. somehow the love just grows. I have also been a foster carer in the past and brlirvr it or not you lover them like your own too. I dont know how this love works, but i know it does. Good luck with your decision!


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Kelly - posted on 04/06/2010




I agree with Vanessa - you would surprise yourself at how much love you have to give to each child. And the same with both of my daughters, their bond is just amazing to watch. Thank God I have 2!!

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im the same way kinda, like we have 1 baby girl now, 4 months, and i do not want any more mainly because we have such a hard time with her attitude and screaming and what not. definatly dont want to risk having another screamer. i love her to death tho. but in a few years i want to adopt a boy so that way i am guarenteed a boy as i want a boy and girl. plus she is the 1st grandchild and girl, so his mom is CRAZY about her since she had a daughter with alot of problems, she never really got to do mother daughter stuff with her and she died a few years back so having a girl around now that has no problems she is exited. she wasnt too fond of the idea of a grandson tho.when i said its going to be a boy shes like no girl!! dont say that i want a grand daughter. tho she would love a grandson to. plus i know right now our childs not too fond of other babies so i could see a huge issue now if we had another. im sure there would be some serious jealousy issues. plus i know i would love another one as well but i think it will be easier when shes a bit older. we want to adopt a younger toddler when shes about 7.

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i was so scare when i found out i was going to have another baby i was so worried that i was not going to be able have enough love for for two kids i was scare one would fell less love when then new baby would come but once i saw how much the two of my girls love each other and how much me and everyone in my life loves my girls i couldnt help but feel so silly for thinking that cause being a mom of two of the most important special girls it just came so natural to me like being a mom opened my heart up to so much

Vanessa - posted on 03/06/2010




There is always enough love to go around! The excitement and pure love that my two daughters share is so precious, I see how they have a bond that only sisters can share. Imagine a child never experiencing love from a sibling I am so glad we have two.

Melanie - posted on 03/05/2010




Well, I have 4 step kids on top of My daughter......It's not easy, Madison is amazing baby. If I were to have another one I dont know it would be so hard because like u said, Having another one OF MY OWN would be so hard because i love my daughter with all my heart and i honestly dont know if i could do it with another one....LOL!! I love watching all her 1st's and love just having her in my arms and her faces and the way she talks etc. Can someone TRUELY love another Child? That is the question.....I dont know if i could do it!!! Because of that i dont know if i really want another one!!

Jackie - posted on 03/04/2010




Honest to God I thought I was the only person in the world that felt like this! I was just saying to someone the other day that I couldn't have any more kids because I lucked out so good with my first. She's beautiful, healthy, and all in all a very good baby. How could I ever love anything half as much as I love her? Would I feel like I was giving her more attention?

Everyone says that when I actually have another baby, it won't be like that but I dunno. I'm trying to find out anytime soon

Casey - posted on 03/02/2010




I believe the love for the first will be the strongest but any other kids that come after, you will love them no doubt.

Bethany - posted on 02/25/2010




I feel the same. Charlotte is 1 and she is such a fantastic, good natured, calm kid. We have such fun together. I guess it's a different love each time maybe. Like my siblings, I love them, but in different ways. I guess I won't understand about the love multiplies thing until I chose to have another child. Not many people would have another because the first just isn't hitting the mark. It's like saying I don't want any more friends because I love my current friends. If you meet someone else who takes your fancy, you have just as much capacity for them .

Steph - posted on 02/24/2010




i agree but i dont want to have another kid because of the pain i went thru with my first.

Hannah - posted on 02/23/2010




i often think the same thing how do u love another child but i guess it just like the 1st you bond over nine months etc

Rebecca - posted on 02/10/2010




Alot of moms feel this way, I did as well... after having my second child I realized that a mothers love is endless. I could never chose between the two of them and I love them both more than life itself.....

Adrienne - posted on 01/27/2010




A mothers love is a force to be reckoned with and she will ALWAYS love ALL of her children. That little one came from you, and you have a bond that goes so deep whether she has 1, 2, 3 or more. You might have a favorite, maybe your first born or maybe your son or daughter and maybe even one you adopted, but Never say you could never have another child, a mother has alot of love to give to ALL of her children.

Tanya - posted on 01/27/2010




I totally agree. I said the same thing to my husband. I couldn't imagine splitting my love between children.

Sandra - posted on 01/25/2010




Well to be honest for me it is knowing that I love my daughter so much, but I know that I can only handle one child right now and I can only afford to have one child.

Jacqueline Sakala - posted on 01/21/2010




Its scary, i love my girls....i have a 10yr old and went thru a dry spell now i have a 1y10month old baby after such a long time and my oldest is so helpful but i have noticed i put (notice put not love) more attension on the younger one than the older one...I feel its not that i love one more than the other but i feeel the baby needs my attention more than the older one...i try to hug both so tight together and i feel what a mummy i am...i think its not a matter of love, its more of who needs more attension , i think... i get scared at times that maybe i love the baby more than my other 10yr.. i feel ya!!! Jackie

Jamie - posted on 01/19/2010




I agree with you...Although my daughter is only 5 months old at this point...lol. I'm definantly not even thinking about having anymore children at this point..Or anywhere in the forseeable future...haha

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