My daughter has a very bad attitude. How do I adjust it?

Taletha - posted on 03/09/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 5 year old daughter has a major attitude problem and is a bully at times to her brothers. I'm at a loss I've spanked her and put her in time out and took things from her but it gets worse when I do any of those anyone have any suggestions?


User - posted on 03/09/2012




I think time-out is a good way to let your child know you will not allow her to act this way and to remove her from a bad situation.

But you're right, it is not enough. There needs to be alot of positive reinforcement as well.

#1- show your child what behavior you expect from her by role modeling and telling her how you expect her to behave, "When you speak to your brothers this is how I want you to speak."

#2 Catch her doing the right thing and compliment her on it. At some point in the day she must play nicely with her siblings. Let know how what a nice sister she is for sharing with her brothers, or for taking turns, etc. TELL her what you approve of at the MOMENT that she is doing it.

What you are doing is "behavior management". You want to encourage good behavior by giving love, attention and compliments to those good behavior. While discouraging bad behavior by either ignoring it (depending on what it is) or giving her consequences.


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Katherine - posted on 03/09/2012




I agree with the other ladies. I also think you should start a rewards chart. That way there is no negativity. But you NEVER take a sticker away. Always reinforce the positive. At the end of the week if she get's so many stickers take her out somewhere special.

Do some one on one time. Take her to the park. There are so many things you can do with her! Things that won't cost money.

Deidre - posted on 03/09/2012




I t's easier for me to asses a situation when I have more details. What ages are the brothers and how many are there?

What is the family dynamic? 1 mom, 1 dad, or single parenting? Do you work out of the home or do you stay home?

I know this may kill you. Especially thinking "There is NO WAY I am going to reward such bad behavior!!".....BUT, I only say this because I go through this crazy additude stuff all the time and I have 3 boys!! What it is is this: Give her one on one time. For me, it's very hard, mentally. The one giving me the most problems is usually the one who needs me the most at that time. I am single and the ages are 13, 6, and 4. My eldest acts out in school towards authority figures and refuses to do work. When he slacks off at home I tend to yell and nag him. He is satisfied with getting any attention from me even if it is NEGATIVE. It really sucks because I get emotionally attached to my frustration and anger. I found out during a LONG therapy session that he just wanted me. Needed me. Since he is older I tend to spend so much TIME with the younger ones and he gets left out a lot. I thought he wanted his privacy. I thought he probably thought he was too old for hugs and kisses. I was dead wrong. Soooo, with that said: She may need some good ole mommy and me time. Without the boys.

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