Do i or do i not tell my child they have SPD?

Michelle - posted on 07/20/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi, i'm new to this but i need advice. I have a son who has recently been diagnosed with SPD and i am also getting him tested for autism. Im not sure on wheather i should tell him that he has SPD or when the best time is. He has been seeing all different types of doctors for over a year now and always asks what they do, i am worried that a teacher or other family members might speak about it when he is around and he will ask questions. I don;t want to tell him because i dont want him to be more social isolated then what he is and feel different.

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Ashley - posted on 01/17/2012

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I talk to my son (since he was 4 - now five) about what that means - I don't give him a label. I talk about the things he can do to help himself - like covering his ears when it is too loud, pulling his shirt over his head when it is too bright, going to a quieter spot in the classroom when it is too noisy, asking his teacher for help if he is getting worked up and out of control. I don't believe giving young children a label helps - I think it makes them more likely to feed into that perception of themselves... just my opinion.

[deleted account]

My daughter is 4.5 and and she was diagnosed over a yr ago now. I know your post is old, but figured I would add something. My daughter was there wihen they told us she has SPD. I also have SPD (never offically diagnosed but i know they signs all to well) and I have been able to relate to her so we talk about it. We share how different things make us feel and why. She has gotten pretty good at doing this and is able to tell me when she needs to leave an event if its to loud or whatever. I say be honest open and express your feelings in different setting so he knows its ok to share and starts to be able to express his feelings with words and not always out burst. (doesn't stop all melt down. I wish)

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2011

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tahnk you for your replies. my son is only four at the moment and some members of our family have suggested to not tell him until he asks, so it is good for me to hear from other peoples experiences with the same matter. i have not told him he is different as such but waiting for that time, i dont think that he will understand as he has really bad speech problems. i am concerned however that if i do say something and try to tell him whats going on he will feel more excluded in things and he may withdraw even more.

Amy - posted on 07/30/2011

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Children know when he/she doesn't fit in. Depending on the age of the child it all depends of how much the child should know. I have 3 children, ages 7, 6, & 3, with multiple areas of difficulty and/or disorders and I don't keep anything from them. I speek to others when they are in the room about their problems for that is just a part of who they are. My oldest son, for instance, told me that he noticed that the other children are mean b/c of the way he talks and I told him that we all talk different and not alike which in turn made him feel better. My 6 yr old daughter was diagnosed with SPD and she doesn't know any different. My 3 yr old hasn't been diagnosed but too has a speech disorder. I think that its important for as a child gets older others need to know to understand why he/she reacts to certain things.

Sabrina - posted on 07/29/2011

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im glad your thinking about his feelings. I'd like to offer food for thought. As it is, your son is already awarethat he is diff. and unlike most folks hes going to the doctor quite often. Without answers- he may become more frustrated. He trusts your judgment and security to offer him ease. how would you feel? your son lives everyday with over reactive sensations, just being around you and your family he passivly understands that he is different. How about seizing the opportunity to Re fraME the inevidable when say, school comes and he needs OT, speach, PT, IEp meetings, accomidations ect... To really let him know HE IS OK and beyond that.Perfect AS IS. some people like hot, some cold, some need more time and some less, some like loud noise and some soft. all just variations of being human. there is no room for fear. the social isolation will come if and when he has no answers, is aware that SOMETHING is wrong, differnet ect and he has no word for it, no way to explain it and nothing to counter it with, not even your security. work through this WITH HIM let him know he has a place in this world, not just in the security of your home, buit in the community, in society and how great it is that he can contributein his own special way unique to him. and he is just as differnt and the same as all of us.you siad he is solcially islolated? no reason for that, get into a supoport group, play group, special needs class if need be, preschool ect...there is PLEnTY of LOVe and ACCeptance to go around for him and many dedicated professionals to help you two and your family bond, and offer a fresh perspective on things. SECRETS IMPLY SHAME and cause low self esteem. Please, find a way to talk about this, maybe not use the diagnosis yet, in long terms.but just say, the doctor willhelp me to help you learn in the way thats best for you, pepare food that way you like, help you sleep nicely..ect...talk in symptoms. hope this helps. Be brave and stay strong. you can do this!

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