Introduction

Wendy - posted on 02/22/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi I am new to the group and new to SPD!! Almost 2 weeks ago my son (who will be 3 in May) was diagnosed with SPD and tactile defensiveness. I feel horrible because he was our first child and I really thought maybe this was what the "terrible twos" were. I had no idea this is why he didn't sleep at night and why he was a picky eater!!! We have started OT and a group feeding program. Most of the time he seems to enjoy the brushing, but we still have meltdowns?? So I am afraid we are not doing this right.... I also have a daughter that will be 2 in July, so I am a busy momma. She so far doesn't seem to have the SPD problems but can VERY easily set my son off without meaning too. I would appreciate any help. How can I make life easier for both of my kids. She is so little and doesn't understand that her brother can't quite cope when she messes up his environment???

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Wendy - posted on 02/24/2009

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Quoting Siobhan:

Hey Wendy,
It is REALLY hard with two kiddos and one with SPD. I understand what it is not to have good rest, our oldest daughter (3) doesn't sleep without physical contact. Although my youngest in only four months old, he has already rocked my older one's world. To help, our OT suggested we may try what follows. Maybe you already know and are doing them - or maybe they are new. Either way, I hope you find that delicate balance and ensuing peace that makes life more comfortable for all involved -
1. Routine, routine, routine - this is the most basic and the most recognized strategy for any kiddo with SPD it seems, yet I know for me, it is one of the hardest.
2. Define the boundaries - I found what works well is to use the strategy of having the child with SPD define his/her own boundaries. We live in a quite connected extended family and so the six cousins have been closely raised together. So, when our daughter is with the cousins, we have her choose a few toys that no one else can touch - then we either set her toys in a special place that cannot be touched or she holds onto them. A lot of times we have found if there are components of the environment that she can control, then she does better, even if she cannot control them entire environment.
3. For you, take a deep breath. Know that you are not alone and well supported and talk to the OT about the trouble at home. They are miracle workers in many circumstances!
Best of luck to you...
P.S. Don't worry about the brushing. You are doing good. Brushing is to reset the nervous system, but honestly I have never been able to use to prevent an approaching meltdown or to cease one that has already begun.


Thank you that does help a lot! I think my son has a little bit of OCD and we have many lines of very sorted things throughout the house such as cars and plastic animals and we are trying to teach him that his room is HIS safe place he can do anything but the problem is he has a line of things in his siter's room, we now know this is something that is "safe" for him so he feels comfortable in her room but she thinks it is fair game! We are learning it is just so frustrating sometimes!

Siobhan - posted on 02/22/2009

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Hey Wendy,

It is REALLY hard with two kiddos and one with SPD. I understand what it is not to have good rest, our oldest daughter (3) doesn't sleep without physical contact. Although my youngest in only four months old, he has already rocked my older one's world. To help, our OT suggested we may try what follows. Maybe you already know and are doing them - or maybe they are new. Either way, I hope you find that delicate balance and ensuing peace that makes life more comfortable for all involved -

1. Routine, routine, routine - this is the most basic and the most recognized strategy for any kiddo with SPD it seems, yet I know for me, it is one of the hardest.

2. Define the boundaries - I found what works well is to use the strategy of having the child with SPD define his/her own boundaries. We live in a quite connected extended family and so the six cousins have been closely raised together. So, when our daughter is with the cousins, we have her choose a few toys that no one else can touch - then we either set her toys in a special place that cannot be touched or she holds onto them. A lot of times we have found if there are components of the environment that she can control, then she does better, even if she cannot control them entire environment.

3. For you, take a deep breath. Know that you are not alone and well supported and talk to the OT about the trouble at home. They are miracle workers in many circumstances!

Best of luck to you...

P.S. Don't worry about the brushing. You are doing good. Brushing is to reset the nervous system, but honestly I have never been able to use to prevent an approaching meltdown or to cease one that has already begun.

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