When Daycare No Longer Feels Loving

Marie - posted on 03/05/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 3 year old is dealing with SPD as well as eating issues. He acts out a lot, and he is aggressive. He has been in therapy for about a year now, and was just recently evaluated by the school district for his behavior issues. He will be getting some services through early special ed, but right now he goes to daycare while I work.

He has been at this daycare for over 2 years, and he generally likes it. However, since identifying his special needs, I feel like the teachers are out to get him. He spends half his day in time-out, and I get greeted each night with a laundry list of all of his misbehaviors. When I talked with the director of the center about my concerns, she suggested that perhaps this wasn't the right kind of setting for my son.

I'm frustrate and heartbroken. I need to feel that I can go to work without stressing all day about his care.

Are any of your children aggressive? How do they cope with the over stimulation of the daycare classroom? And suggestions for a way to find a daycare provider who works with children who have special needs?



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Marie - posted on 03/11/2010




Wow! I'm happy to hear that your daughter is doing so well. Jonny has a special education teach in the district that is meeting with us at home. She is going to meet with his daycare providers and give them some suggestions. We are trying to hang in there until his brother completes head start the first week of June--because of bus arrangements. His special ed teacher is also gathering a list of daycares that she has had success with so that my search won't be so overwhelming.

Thanks for your feedback.

Carol - posted on 03/11/2010




Hi Marie-

This is what I Iearned from our experience:

- My child is not a bad child, the caregivers were undereducated, underpaid and not willing to 'deal' with my child (she was hypersensitive)

- When looking for a new center, talk directly to the caregivers - not just the director. Be upfront and discuss your child's issues with them. It is better to find out ahead of time whether or not they are willing to work with your child.

- If you do not feel comfortable with their reaction, walk away and go on to the next place. I was lucky and found a center with a teacher who had worked with SPD children in the past. They are more than willing to do anything that our OT suggests.

I had to face the fact that even though we left voluntarily, it would have been a matter of time before they would have asked us to leave (as unbelievable as it sounds, my OT says that it happens all the time...)

My daughter has been in her new daycare since December and her personality has completely changed - she is happier, sleeps better, eats better is interested in potty training and looks forward to going to school.

Good luck & I hope this helps : )


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