12 year old daughter.Help!

Mackenzie - posted on 08/06/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My 12 year old daughter is getting really annoyed with me being overprotective! The only shows on family channel she watches (I let her watch) are "wizards of waverly, Jessie, antfarm,and the suite life of zack and cody/suite life on deck. Should I let her watch more?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/06/2013

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Do you think you should?

YOU are the parent. If you say no, she needs to listen.

If you think that you are being too restrictive, ask her what she'd LIKE to watch, and view it yourself initially. If you agree with letting her watch it, then she's gold. If not, then she doesn't get to.

You cannot be afraid to say NO to your kids, or they'll walk all over you.

Lynn - posted on 08/26/2013

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Yes, you should allow her to watch more shows. Express to her that you trust her and you know she will not follow the behavior she sees on television.
To be honest, there is just as much inappropriate behavior in daily life. I stand in the checkout line at the market and people are using profanity. I pick my daughter up from school and kids are hugging and kissing on each other.

Jeanne - posted on 08/10/2013

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I agree with Eve 100%. My 13 yr daughter is fairly well balanced and I truly believe its because I dont shelter her from bad things. The news is the hardest thing she has had to deal with basically. But tv opens up and brings topics up that we talk about. I want her to know what is going on with our world so I can give her the tools to
Deal with life. I think 12 is a great age to start expanding what she can see. Perhaps explain that you trust her enough to allow her to watch more mature TV , but it's still important to you that you are aware of what it is. And if there is a specific show that other kids are watching that she wants to watch but you don't want her too- well that's your right to stop her. however, before you decide, look inside yourself and analyze why you don't want her to see it. Are you afraid she will turn into what she sees? Or learn about something new and try it? It's about allowing them to grow and trusting them. I suggest an open conversation about whatever your concerns are.

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Claudette - posted on 08/26/2013

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You, she should be happy you guys even have cable. But some of the other shows are ok. On our TV we have set parental locks so that the kids can only watch certain shows with TV ratings. they can not watch anything over PG13 without me putting in a password.
With this being said, giver her a little more control over the TV, and let her know the types of shows or rating she is not allowed to watch. besides, at 12 she probably will find that she is not missing anything anyways and will still be interested in the shows you mentioned.

Sarah - posted on 08/11/2013

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Shes growing up and has to learn stuff now my 12 year old is allowed to watch al shows that come on disney and nick exept for the ones like how i met your mother and greys anatomy and dtuff

Sandy E - posted on 08/11/2013

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Most likely, her friends get to watch other shows and she feels pressured. If you don't let her watch the shows shes going to go behind your back and go and watch shows at her friends houses. If you let her watch shows such as family guy, pretty little liars, and victorious you can be a very cool mom and laugh with her over all the funny jokes they tell. Disney channel frequently repeats jokes. If you notice, they always have the same type of character personalities, a smart nerdy person, a girly girl, and a not so smart one. It teaches kids to say " Oh my gosh" instead of oh my god and stuff that wont.. exactly help them in school and making new ''cool " friends. Me and my 13 year old daughter enjoy watching pretty little liars :) and are very addicted to it. If you simply go up to her and give her the remote and say " here :) put on whatever YOU want :) she will automatically change her negative thoughts about you into good ones. If you're worried about her finding out about sex and things like that, with all the internet teens have access to these days, she most likely already knows about a lot. If you do let her see the shows and it says stuff about sex and what not, she will ask you about it. Don't worry about letting your daughter seeing other shows than disney channel because she will go behind your back if you don't allow it. if you let her watch other shows like pretty little liars then she can keep her mind going and so she has to keep up with everything thats going on. and you can use the shows to say "you have to finish your homework and then you can watch whatever show you want :)" if I helped you at all please let me know either way so I can know how I'm doing :)

Erica - posted on 08/11/2013

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I think parents need to know and understand that sheltering kids from certain tv programs can be good and bad. My kids have learned more crap outside of home from friends and other students at school. If you sit down with yoir kids and talk to them openly, and don't hide anything feom them, they will make the right desicions.

Debbie - posted on 08/09/2013

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I feel it is up to the parent as to what they prefer. And at the same time if you shelter the kids to much to what really goes on in life then they don't get to have there parents perspective on things and watching things together and having conversations about helps the kids understand life as the parents would want them to.

Erica - posted on 08/08/2013

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I feel its up to the parents. Our household of 9, 13, & 17, watch horror movies and action movies. My kids don't act out or have bad dreams. We talk to the kids sbout the movies we watch.

Tonya Renee - posted on 08/07/2013

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I think my self only the pg shows should be watched my daughters r 9 and 13... we have everything else blocked..

Eve - posted on 08/07/2013

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Most people raise their eyebrows at some of the shows/movies I watch with my children (obviously my 8yo has more restrictions than my 13yo). I've come to the realization that we as parents cannot shelter them from everything "inappropriate" or "immoral" forever. It's everywhere -- TV, movies, radio, the internet, etc... They're going to find it sooner or later. I would much rather be with them so that we can have open conversations on what is appropriate vs. inappropriate behavior. That way I can impart some sense of moral foundation, accurate information, and problem-solving skills to deal with certain situations if they encounter them in real life.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/07/2013

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Ok, ladies, I have to admit, my TV is most of the time on either Disney XD or Disney Junior...LOL...

And my kids are 16 & 19! So they're well past the super monitoring stage, but I still restrict inappropriate contact...such as "Ted"...The Disney channel is for me & hubby...

Mine are boys, and right now the big deal for the younger is old war flicks...the old black & white ones. Either that or car restoration shows...The 19 yo got himself netflix and will be on his own in a week, as he finally signed a lease on an apartment...WOOHOO! (but that's another subject)

Enna - posted on 08/07/2013

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I agree with Shawnn. It's your decision. My daughter is thirteen and I let her watch a lot more than that, but most of the time we're watching it together so if it becomes inappropriate I turn it off. I don't let her watch any movies (well, above PG) that I haven't already watched. She's never complained about not getting to watch stuff. It's the computer I have to watch her on!

Heidi - posted on 08/07/2013

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Yes just limit the amount of time she spends watching. She's gonna learn things regardless of anything u do. Been there.

Laura - posted on 08/06/2013

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First off why are you not letting her? Then you answered your own question, I bet. My daughter is the same age and yours watches more than mine. So there you go not everyone is doing it. If only they saw making strait A's as a copy factor, :). You are not over protected you have morals. So many shows projected to our young kids show them how life should be, not living with parents, having boyfriends at crazy young ages, and on an on. I am not saying moms who let their kids watch other shows are wrong, but you have we all have our own standards. Name me three shows that it is about a normal family? On teen nick, My husband and I sat with our other kids (I have 5) and it had a boy come out of a apartment, on summer vacation with a towel around his waist. It was some surf movie (a bout a year ago) and his girlfriend was wrapped in a bed sheet with nothing on under, and another girl was offered to go "join" them. In a adult mind, you know that they just had sex, now are promoting a threesome! To children, some of the other shows teach young girls it is better to have a physical relationship with your best same sex friend (kissing and other things) so you are more ready when you meet your boyfriend or girlfriend. Regardless of your sexual preference I flipped out, now a days kids can not have sleep overs without sex being a part of it. I mean young girls at this age some are so impressioned and think well everyone must be doing it (my daughter). So, for your above question....this is why I do not allow my kids to watch a lot of shows or the ones I do not approve of. All kids are different, as a parent you have to make that call. So no she will be fine, My kids get mad because they are not allowed to listen to certain songs, that is killer to them. However, raise a child in the right way and their mind will never go astray, I remind my self of this every day!!! I also agree with the other post, what shows does she want to watch? Maybe just talking to her and explaining facts will make her understand the reasons you have prevented to allow her to or you may look it up and see on parent ratings. I still have issues with some of the pg13 movies for my 15 year old. So never fell bad for protecting her from kid Hbo I call it.

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