13 year old daughter

Christal - posted on 09/04/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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2 months ago I regained full custody of my 13 yr old daughter. Since she returned home she has been VERY disrespectful and will not listen to me at all. I am having a HUGE problem with trying to discipline her but either she starts going off or she starts giving me a guilt trip by crying and telling me that I dont love her. I have gotten her enrolled into counseling but she is getting worse by the day and I am at the end of my rope.

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JoAnne - posted on 09/14/2016

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We each have unique discipline techniques and what works with one child and their situation will not always work with another. While lemons and citrus are loaded with vitamin C , are very healthy for us and make iced tea yummy, they are caustic to the eyes and could affect vision. The hot metal stick could also cause an infection or MRSA, which can be fatal. I am not against punishing children appropriately but their opportunity for personal growth, physical and mental wellbeing should also be considered when choosing a punishment. For my daughter I have found that positive consequences that allow her to right the offense herself, thereby learning for the experience, work well.

JoAnne - posted on 09/07/2016

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I agree with Sarah that two months is a relatively short period of time for your daughter to adjust. I obviously don't know your situation, but I imagine the circumstances before you regained custody spanned more than 2 months so the adjustment to a new normal will take time as well. You're daughter is also probably testing out the boundaries of her new normal which would contribute to her behavior. Hopefully her counselor will be able to help you by suggesting techniques that fit her needs. You can do this, just tie a knot in your rope and hang on because you are equal to this challenge. I'll pray for you and your daughter.

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Linda - posted on 09/17/2016

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I have a 13 year old daughter as well and I have learned if she lashes out it's because she either thinks her needs won't be met or her opinion doesn't matter. I try to let her be more involved in things around the house like something simple she really enjoys cooking dinner. Who knew..lol so I had to relinquish control in the kitchen and even though it wasn't perfect, it was a fun time and a new experience. It's hard to transition from always doing everything for them to letting them gain independence with creating healthy boundaries. An app that has helped me is Parenting Today's Teens. Keep the faith and enjoy the journey:) I will be praying for you and your daughter. God bless

Christal - posted on 09/14/2016

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Thank you so much for the encouragement and ideas. She is in counseling and acts like she should then when we get home its completely different. She was put of my home due to medical problems and surgerys I have had since my last severe car wreck. I'm not backing down and will keep with constancy some how I am determined to have a wonderful mother daughter relationship with her.

Tammie - posted on 09/11/2016

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My punishment techniques are very old but effective!
I used to squirt lemons and citrus into my kids eyes but i do think at the moment that a metal stick in the fireplace for 2-3 minutes and then taking it out to slap across there ankles.
They never disrespect me!
Much love, Tammie

Eager - posted on 09/08/2016

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I agree with, Sarah E, too, -- give her some time to adjust to the new living. Also, I think it would be a good idea to give her the freedom she needs to experience your home and this may help her feel comfortable. Trying spending quality time with her just so she knows you better and appreciates you. Have you considered counseling regarding your situation – it might be helpful, as well? I’ll certainly be praying for you. Hugs!

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