13 year old step daughters inappropriate clothes

Jodi - posted on 09/16/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a blended family. There are 8 of us. The youngest step daughter who is 13 thinks that the shorter the shorts and tighter the shirts make her look cuter. Unfortunately she is a little overweight and it actually does not flatter her body type. I have tried to explain modesty to her and so has her father but she wants nothing to do with changing the clothes she wears. Her mom is the enabler and buys her whatever she wants even though she agrees she should not be wearing the clothes. Any suggestions on how to get through to her? The hubby says she needs to get into high school next year where she will more than likely be made fun of and maybe that will make her realize her clothing is not appropriate. Please help!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/20/2015

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Dad and Mom need to get on the same page, and if Mom disagrees with the dress style, then SHE NEEDS TO STOP PURCHASING THOSE CLOTHING ITEMS!

It's not rocket science, it's cooperative parenting. Of course the 13 YO isn't going to agree...she's a 13 YO! She sees that although mom pays lip service to not liking the style, she still purchases it, so why should the kid change? Answer: She won't until her parents get on the same page and present a united front.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/19/2015

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As women, we over think things - want to control everything. I've always thought more like a man and I completely agree with your husband. She's 13. When did we EVER think we could control anyone capable of controlling themselves? This is NOT drugs, alcohol or pre-mature sex. It's clothing - the one thing when you were 13, you picked out yourself. While when we were 13, clothing wasn't like it was now, when OUR mother's were 13, clothing was a LOT more cover-uppish and they frowned on what WE wore. I know you care about her, but she's not your daughter and you have to remember that. Her mother is still alive so she is NOT going to listen to you. As long as her mother is purchasing these clothes, the message to the child is "It's ok to dress like a tart".
Let the kids at school handle it. Sometimes, negative peer pressure has its purpose. Stop trying to protect her so much. She HAS to learn society has its limits and will dictate. Her lesson will come via negative social response.

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