13 yr old daughter wants to go hang out at boyfriends house

Stacy - posted on 03/10/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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My 13 y/o daughter was invited to her boyfriends house after school with the mother home and then go to the juice shop after. I haven't made a decision yet to let her go...Im so torn. any thoughts?

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Elisabeth - posted on 11/13/2014

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Im 15 years old and I asked my mom the other day to go over to my boyfriends house. At first she said yes and then she changed her mind. I have never done anything bad in my life. I have good grades, Im captain of the dance team, I have had plenty of boyfiends and she has never done this until this time because I met him at something called Old Shawnee Days where you go and meet teenagers who go to different school around that area. She let me go out to his football game and see him again.

I understand that you are trying to protect your daughter and that you hate to see her grow up... But honestly let her go, because this whole week me and my mom have been fighting non stop every night.

She says that she trusts me but she obviously must not if she doesn't trust me being over at a boys house.

Trust me, It will only push your daughter away if you allow her not to go.

I think that you should let her go.

Terry - posted on 03/14/2009

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My son is 14, he has a girl friend but my theory is...you hang out all day at school. Call her talk to her on the phone but...you are too young to be socializing at each others homes. I am a little old fashioned.

Elli - posted on 10/22/2015

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Well I am 12. I dont like to talk to my mom. She ruined my relationship with her. I was never allowed to have sleepovers with any of my friends. Barely have play dates, etc. I think that maybe talk to the boys mom. Befriending the parent is always a great idea. I have had 2 boyfriends. My first one was a mistake, he is really just a good friend. My boyfriend right now, he cares about me, we hug and things like that. (No kissing) I am not a very affectionate person. I don't consider us dating, to my opinion, dating for kids my age is someone who you trust and can tell anything to. You can stay up all night crying and they will be there to help you. My mom always gets so nosy when I try to talk to her about anything. Never use these words, "No kissing ok" "Don't let him touch you" I mean I am 12 and very educated with things that could happen. But when your mom gets to specific, it is a very uncomfortable situation. I mean you should be more like "Oh wow hun, he sounds very nice" "You guys go have fun" "Call me if you need anything" "Don't do anything stupid" And smile when you say them. My mom was a very bad mom when I was younger, but I wouldn't really tell it here. Just be very general with your daughter. Teens are very grumpy, especially with the hormonal things. Hopefully she understands the things that should and shouldn't be done... if you trust your daughter, let her go. I have lost my mom, and it isn't great. She doesn't get along with me. She always blames things on me. My parents think of divorce, but nothing happened yet :( My bf makes me feel like I have a reason to not kill myself. :) And I love him ♥ Dating is an experience before your bigger choices. Children and teens get to understand who can be trusted. If you never let your daughter date, when she is older, she can get married to the wrong man. If this happens, do you want to see her kill herself with someone she doesnt love. Dating is like learning about who is truly a good person :) :) Hope this helps! ♥

Andy-Kay - posted on 03/21/2012

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It depends on how mature she actually is...if she is out of the stage of wearing kid like clothing or something and she's starting to wear make-up more then she is not your little girl anymore she's a young lady. But if her boyfriends mom wasn't there then no I won't let her go nor if his dad wasn't there one of them has to be there at all times...and if you can trust her telling her if something goes on that should be.

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Jade - posted on 01/04/2014

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let her go you need to trust that she makes the right decisions and does not lie to you just give her a reasonable time when she needs to be home

Chuck - posted on 12/29/2013

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Screw everyone that thinks 10-14 is too young to have a relationship, age really shouldn't matter if you truly trust your children then you will agree, also I am 13 and I have been to my girlfriends house even when her mom isn't there and I've slept there so there's no worries in letting them go to each others houses

Caitlin - posted on 11/11/2013

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I am a 13 year old and I have a boyfriend. I think that if you can trust your son/daughter to I over to their house then let them have fun and go! I have been to my boyfriends house before and his mom was there. Honestly from my opinion we don't do mushy gooshy stuff at eachothers houses. It's not the right place to go.

Ellen - posted on 03/14/2009

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I woule never let my daughter go to a boyfriend's house, eventhough the mom is home. The mom could always leave and run somewhere quick. I would say that they could go out in a public place, with a parent, but not to a house. Boys, when I was growing up, never had rules like a girl's house does. I had the rule of no boys allowed in my room, where all my boyfriends didn't, and never understood my dad's rule

Lori - posted on 03/14/2009

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She's a bit young to be having a boyfriend. I would use caution when letting your daughter visit over to her friends home. I would make sure that they are supervised @ all times, because that is the age of raging hormones. My suggestion to you is why not have them go to an outing like an arcade or lazer tag. This way they are not so confined to the home where unwanted things can occur. Trust me, I have three teenagers and I have learned. Good Luck! :)

[deleted account]

yikes, I think 13 is a little too young to encourage having a relationship. Obviously they are going to have "boyfriends" at school but I wouldnt encourage any outside activity till at least 16....in my opinion

Mary - posted on 03/12/2009

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While at this boys house the boys mother will be the monitor, not you. Do you trust her? (I trusted a good christian friend once awhile back with watching my 13 yo daughter and I wish I had not now.)

You are the only mother of your daughter. We can really be reaching when we have to trust other parents in situations like these. Afterall, how well do we really know these people?

Most of all, trust your motherly gut-instinct. If something is making you feel uncomfortable about it, there is probably good reason.

Kara - posted on 03/12/2009

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If mom is there and remaining in visible view of the teenagers the entire time then fine. I grill my 13 year old son when he is going to a girls house. Even have to call and talk to the parent myself to make sure they will be there.   We gotta look out for our kids.

Stacy - posted on 03/11/2009

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BC of scheduling she is not going to his house.  It is his BDay this weekend and he will be gone for a hockey tournament so I told her he could come out to dinner with us at a local restaurant where my sisters work and they can have their own table.  As for the other mom, my daughter Wants me to talk to her and they even got a family membership at the gym we go to.  I beleive in keeping the lines open but I know that letting her go to his house without other friends there will only set a precedence for the future.  Thank You everyone for your replies.

Danelle - posted on 03/10/2009

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My thirteen year old daughter has a boyfriend too! He comes to our house!!!!!

Shelly - posted on 03/10/2009

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Stacy,



  Have you met with the other mom and ast down to talk to her to find out what the rules are around her house when the kids ar there?  I think that is your first line of defense!!!  And then make a decission You need to be a detective and know that your daughter will be superviced at her house like she would be at yours...Good Luck

Julia - posted on 03/10/2009

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13 year olds should not have boyfriends. Dating is for people who are considering marriage. A boy's mom is going to let you worry about your daughter. She won't be watching everything and the kids know it.

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