14 yr old daughter

Tammy - posted on 11/10/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 14 yr old daughter says very rude, selfish and disrespectful things especially to my husband (her stepfather). She also manipulates her father to bring friends or her cousins over when she sees him on Sundays or has overnights at his house. I sometimes do not even want her home because she is sooo rude. She acts like she doesn't care about anyone but herself and needs/wants. She also acts very immature at times something I never did at 14. She does have friends and doesn't get in trouble in school. Help me deal withher rudeness also how she treats her stepfather with such disrespect and he has been in her life since she was 2 yrs old. She also says if I hit her she will call police and I thought talking to the guidance counselor would help her instead she makes us (me and my husband) sound like bad parents. She tells me when she is angry what she tells the guidance counselor. I also feel the guidance counselor tells her things she should not as it only gives my daughter more ammo to attack us verbally. Help!!!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/11/2013

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So...

I'm sensing a strong something here, and I'm wondering...

You don't start with the usual "she was such a wonderful kid and is now a bitch"...so what started this? When did she start acting this way?

Why do you say that she manipulates her father into allowing friends/cousins over? Why do you say that she manipulates him into sleepovers? Forgive me for misunderstanding, but isn't her time with her dad just that, HER time? Do you really think you can dictate what they do on their weekends, as long as its safe?

What responsibilities and privileges does she have at home? Is she allowed to have visitors? Does she get free time?

From the sounds of it, you have a typical teen. They get mouthy, they get rude, etc. When my kids hit that stage, I didn't change anything. Their responsibilities stayed the same, consequences stayed the same, and incentive has always been given for good work. However, I would never presume to tell my kids what they could do when in the custody of the other parent, as long as my kid was safe.

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