14 yr old daughter cries when taken back to dads

Karen - posted on 04/26/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter cries when I have to take her to her dads. She hates it there. Dad doesn't pay much attention, and when he does, it is usually negative. Step mom is another story. She doesn't care for me most of the time. I don't trust her and my daughter doesn't eirther. Step has done some stupid things. They have some one snooping around the school on daughter, telling dad what she is doing. I want her to be with me always. I have told her dad that I will still pay him 199 child support, and not go after him for support.
Long story short?! opps. Dad is a control freak, and never wrong. Please help. I am in depresrate way.

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Barbara - posted on 05/07/2013

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I agree with many of the other moms. You need to retain an attorney for HER so that she can make her feelings known. I think where we live the age is 13, so she should be old enough to influence the judge that this isn't a workable arrangement for her. The attorney should be able to at least provide some kind of proof that she is in at least a difficult circumstance if not abusive. Verbal abuse is tough to prove in court, so start getting as much information as you can without tipping your hand or cluing him in that you will be seeking full custody. You can also take her to a psychologist or Child Counselor and have a therapist work with her who may be able to find out if there is anything else going on (puberty, developmental issues, or, other interpersonal issues between her dad, step mom and her). I would tread gently on the child abuse issues until you have some documentation, but an attorney can get you started, protect your daughters rights and give you sound legal advice.

Sally - posted on 05/01/2013

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Get a lawyer and try to get the visitation schedule redone. These things are supposed to be in the child's best interests and if her dad and step mom really are being that abusive to her being with them is not good for her. Also, in some states at a certain age the child can decide where they stay. It's worth looking into.

Amy - posted on 04/28/2013

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You may also check into doing or redoing a parenting plan. I hope a judge can and will hears your daughter. With her being 14 yrs old. I would hope they would see she is mature enough to know what she wants. Be her voice make sure she's heard. My thoughts and prsyers are with you and your daughter. As a mom I wish I could help.

Karen - posted on 04/27/2013

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I live in Washington state. My daughter has been checking out the internet too. She said if she runs away from her dads, the police have to take her back to his house, by law. I need to check into that, it doesn't seem right.
Thank you for your help
Karen

Amy - posted on 04/27/2013

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Depending on where you live she may be old enough to make her own decision bout wether she goes to her fathers or not. We live in TN and here its 12yrs old. I would contact lawyer an find out what her rights are.

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