15 year old daughter, has done it all!

Sara - posted on 10/07/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have 4 daughters, the first one was a hand full but shes 24 now and has grown up. Another daughter thats 20 is away on her own in college in med school, I couldn't be any prouder, and other daughter thats 18 living at home attending college playing D2 softball, again couldnt be prouder. But my 15 year old is going through something i cant even explain. She lies and lies about everything, things that are crazy to lie about. She steal things from family members, money cloths, anything she can find. She decided to buy a prepaid cell phone, and hide it from us, it was found and on it were inappropriate pictures of herself and other boys. and also talk about sex. We talked and she swears she hasnt done anything.. We found out she stole her sisters ipod touch when she cam home from college, we all looked for it and comes to find out she had it the whole time, this time with even more pics and boys. This time there was drugs, not only that but my husband works with cash, he was at an auction and forgot to bring it back to the bank. it was in a case in our room she went through it and took pics of herself with the money. we found the pics on the ipod. i flipped out on her and was waiting for her father to get home to let him know. During this time she went into the bathroom and took a large amount of pills. Her sister found her passed out. we rushed her to the hospital. she goes to counseling once a week and was good for about a month. Now she is skipping school, writing fake notes, leaving confirmation class with college boys and bring dropped back off right before I would pick her up. If anyone can help me please! We have nothing else to take from her. she does her chores. we dont allow her to do anything anymore. and she has the i dont care attitude! Please help i have gone to counseling my self and i have beeen good about not yelling and learning different ways to punish like chores and work for her to do but its not working and she's getting away with everything because she knows theres nothing we can do about it!

Sara

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Leigh - posted on 10/08/2012

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Sara,



It's a very hard spot you are in. Does she threaten you with killing herself? Then you need to take a different approach. If the therapist is not helping, then you might want to look for a different one. The pill is a definite!! I know some people think it gives them "permission" to have sex, but I look at it as it protects YOU from having to raise your grandchild. Around here there is also the 48 hour hold you can commit them to if they are threatening to hurt themselves. I hate to suggest that because that is extremely harsh. As much as I believe in tough love, I would try everything else first.



I would definitely look into a new doctor though.



One other thought and I hope I don't hurt feelings here, but have you thought that maybe she is doing all this because there is no way she can compete with her sisters success? Not that you don't love her any less, because I can see by your writing that you love her more than she will ever know, but it could be a little hard for her to live up to what her sisters are doing, so instead she does the opposite.



I hope things start to settle down for you and that your daughter will wake up and realize what a blessing she has in her mom and dad.

Sara - posted on 10/08/2012

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Thank you so much leigh Pritchard. I agree and It never crossed my mind to do that. I am definitely worried about those things, and will address them. But right now my major concern is her trying to overdose on pills and take her life. If she steals and gets arrested or gets pregnant is one thing but not having her here is another. I don't know what I would do if she wasn't here. And my other girls are really having a hard time in school knowing she could and might try again to kill herself. I try to tell them to focus on themselves and school, but like a sister they worry and are very scared for her. They look to me to do something and fix everything but im lost on how to fix that. counseling / her seeing a shrink is not helping. and I know i need to scare her with the facts but i cant push her over the edge to try to take her life again. Thank you so much, I most certainly will talk to my husband. He thinks its a good idea to take her to an OBGYN and put her on the pill, so if she is sleeping with someone or ones she wont get pregnant. At least theres a less chance.

Leigh - posted on 10/08/2012

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Tough love!! This is not going to sound good to many, but here goes. She is a thief? Call the police! Has she ever seen what it is like to be arrested in real life? Maybe she needs to be scared straight? Has she seen what happens to girls that give "it" away? Take her down to the red light district and show her? Maybe to a sex counseling group and have her sit threw some of the stories that they talk about. I am all about raising children to be accountable for their actions and so far the only thing I see is that she has to do chores.



You are right, she is getting away with everything, but there are things you can do.



Oh and about the college boys? If I found them, I would have them arrested too.

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