15 year old daughter sending and receiving sexual text messages

Jennifer - posted on 04/06/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom. My ex and I share 50% custody of our 15 year daughter. We found out that she has been meeting guys online (at least 4 or 5 of them) and has been having some pretty sexual conversations via text and video chat. My ex took her phone away and went through her text messages and it was enough to make any parent sick. I have no idea who these guys are but she was giving details about when her period was and they were discussing what they wanted to do to her! He has shut down the wi-fi access at his house. I wanted to know if anyone has had a situation like this and if so, how did you handle it? At this time, I have no trust with her.

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Katya - posted on 04/08/2013

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I dont know what your personal relationships are like between you your ex and your daughter or what your family dynamics are. After raising 3 daughters of my own and 23 foster teen daughters the one thing I know for sure is when the fathers give the attention,compliments, spend one on one time really listening to their daughters hearts and truly trying to "get into their world" in most instances a teen girl will not look for that love and acceptance, that feeling of being someones princess outside of the home.Please don't take this wrong as I don't know you but I've found it to be true over and over, it cannot be coincidence Im heartbroken for you, its a different world out there and they dont think of the consequences.It would be a very long time before my kids would have internet access except for schoolwork in an open common area of the house and I would go as far as getting her a simple phone that only made calls in case of emergency for a very long time. Stay strong and give her lots of love and encouragement right now. Hugs,
Katya
If there was some way to find out who these boys are I would talk to their parents and if any were over 18 I would at least threaten to press charges.

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Jennifer - posted on 04/08/2013

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My daughter is pretty close to her dad now, but from age 3-11, he only saw her one day a week for 5 hours. I appreciate your advice and I will not be giving her any internet access for a long time! When I asked her why she is doing this, her reply was that she was bored and that I don't let her do anything.The truth is, I will let her do things with friends, but I have some rules in which I have to know who the friend is and who the parents are if they are driving her somewhere. She dosn't like my rules and therefore would rather not do anything than to accept my rules. I think because many of her friends have been sexually active with boyfriends or one time situations, she seems to think it is ok to do this.I have had many talks with her about this and she has seen up front and personal some of her classsmates that have gotten pregnant.

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