15 year old son

Shazia - posted on 06/03/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son who is 15 is treating me like dirt.
He says he hates me. Cant wait to grow up and move out. Called me a liar. Called me mean. Things he said to me i cant repeat.

4 Comments

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Tanya - posted on 06/06/2014

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I don't necessarily agree with Janae completely.

I was waaaayyyyyyyyyyy worse than your son at that age. What I have done to my mother I cannot even digest. However, I was not testing her...I was very angry at her.
My mother was also a single mother but made bad choices since 16 and still making bad choices and living with the consequences which makes her 4 children live with these consequences as well (I am still mad at her-but can keep it to myself)....I know accept that she is that way.
I said exactly what your son has said and I did leave...I went to leave with a family member. My mother would come up with ridiculous consequences that never worked for me, and no love...I left and I told her 'you taught me how not to be a bad parent' She tries to give me advice today and I disregard it completely...even if she is right...

I suggest you sit with your son and talk to him...I don't think he is saying these words out of nowhere...he is hurt by something you have done or happened in the house. When children grow up in loving families and feel supported they usually don't act out...I see it with my friends...I am extremely envious of their family relationships.

Please talk to him...you don't want him to eventually latch onto his wife's family and forget you, I'm there now. I'm happier to see my husband's family than my own.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/04/2014

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And what are his consequences for doing so?

Janae - posted on 06/03/2014

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I don't want to come off mean to you, it seems you are going through enough of that already. Your 15 year old is testing you to see how far he can push you, and you are letting him do it. You are more worried about hurting his feeling and not thinking this child is not only hurting your feeling but is treating you like dirt. Do you honestly think the behavior is going to get better if you just let him continue? No, it will not, it continues to progress. I think the worse thing that could have happened when psychiatrist said we should be our children's friend. If you are the friend then who is raising the child? You need to get back control of you house, and don't budge on anything. He is a male and he is looking for dominance and from reading you blog it sounds as though he is gaining it. When teenagers start going through puberty they said and do some stupid stuff, but it doesn't mean we are suppose to allow it. This is where you come in as the parent and do what a parent is suppose to do and that is to guide him in the way he is suppose to go, not let him guide you in the way he wants you to go. Put some force in your voice and speak with authority and don't back down. He get loud, you get louder. He's going to see if he can make you back down. Again, he's trying to gain dominance don't let it happen. When he see you are not going to back down, he going to rethink what he's doing. If you continue to stand your ground and stand on what you say, you will have your child back. But look for him to come at you another way. He may come at you real nice to see if he can get you to drop your guard , but letting him have his way on small things. Everything he wants, he need to earn it. You will set a better direction for him if you do. I am a single mother, with two boys that towered over me at the age of 10 years old. I know how boys can be, and from the beginning to now, that are 28 and 27 years old. I don't give them the upper hand and they know that when I speak mommy means business. You don't have to beat a child to get him to mind. Let it be known through your voice and your body language and you will have no problems. What he's saying to you now, later on he will wish a million times he could take it all back. Stand your ground. I wish you all the luck in the world you and him.

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