16 y.o daughter wants to go to her boyfriend's party.

Ida - posted on 10/12/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




So my daughter asked me if she could go to her boyfriend's party. This would be the first party I let her go to that is not a family's party. I told her I would like to speak to an adult first. When I told her this she got really upset and starting crying. Shd rather stay home then. Anytime she wants to go over someones house I always to speak to an adult or a parent. She thinks I don't trust her but I tried to explain to her that its just for her own safety. I don't know what to do. When do I stop calling her friends parents?


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L R - posted on 10/13/2012




I believe it is healthy to connect with your daughter's friends. regarding your daughter's boyfriend's party... I would need more information to determine if indeed you need to call. Do you feel that there is a need to double check? How long have they been together? How well do you know her boyfriend? If they have been together a while, I would say that you need to start trusting your daughter. I would be a little discreet and drop her off and just drive by and see how the outside looks. Does she have a cell? Have her check in with you and see how things are going. At the end, you could always call his parents (by accident of course haha) and let them know what time you will be picking up your daughter.

I do this with my son and I believe it gains trust. If she hasn't given you any reason not to trust, then I would feel safe to say she's going to be all right. Even take a little treat to the party and see if you get feedback.

[deleted account]

There is nothing wrong with you wanting to talk to a parent and make sure an adult will be present. I don't ALWAYS do that with my 15 yo daughter, but I would do it if she was going somewhere with a boy, or if she was visiting a family that I didn't know very well. It does seem a little bit strange, though, that you have never let her go to a party that isn't family before and she's 16? Maybe I misunderstood that. If I didn't, then I'm wondering why she has never been allowed to go to a party before.

Pam - posted on 10/12/2012




You don't stop. As long as you keep talking to her and be consistant with the fact that it is for her own good, it will kick in soon.I have had my girls say they would rather stay home at times,too and when they do, it is some of the best quality time ever. My girls are 18 and 16. I still talk to parents. I just know each girls is different and I know each situation is too.

Hope this helps.



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