16 year old daughter can't get over divorce and is shutting me out of her life

Melanie - posted on 11/17/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I divorced my ex because he was emotionally and verbally abusive and has borderline personality disorder. Very few people would ever suspect the depths of his pathology as he presents a sane facade to the world. My 16 year old daughter is choosing to live with him. She says there is no such thing as verbal abuse and there is no reason to divorce anyone except if they are beating you up. She cannot move on and is still holding a grudge against me after two years for "ruining her life." He spoils her shamelessly and uses pity to get her to feel responsible for his happiness. He lets her do whatever she wants and gives her a bottomless credit card. I on the other hand have bounderies and a budget but do the best I can. I feel so misunderstood by her, I think she has been brainwashed by him. I feel I'm losing her and it's so sad. How do I get her back when she lives in the fantasy world that people should never get divorced?

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Desiree - posted on 11/25/2012

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DONT dwell so much on her she is a girl teenager move forward with your life don't get stuck in a rut she will need you for way more important issues in life so be strong for your self & for her don't let her see you be so weak she wont respect you on top of that you make your self look like you did something wrong if divorce was your only option then stand by it she will get a relationship soon & if she feels so strongly regarding divorce then she can exercise her opinion soon enough enjoy her as much as you can she will only be a teenager ounce so embrace it have her take you shopping with that bottomless credit card be thankful to GOD that she has a father in her life thats willing to love & support her be more optimistic walk by faith not by sight

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