16 year old is habitually stealing for herself and her friends

Shanon - posted on 10/15/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter just turned 16. She has been caught for stealing in the past and has gone to court for it. I thought she learned her lesson, but I just found out it has gotten worse. She is stealing large amount of clothing from the mall. She told me she barrowed the clothes from friends. When I talked to her about it, she says it is hard for her to see all the other kids with things we cant afford. However she also steals for her friends. I hate stealing and she is very aware of that. I don't know what to do.

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Syl - posted on 09/17/2013

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Blah. How depressing. I have a 16 and a 13 yo daughter, both straight A's, both behave, no issues at school, they play piano one plays flute and guitar and oboe and mallets the other plays clarinet, takes all AP classes.... They are goofy and happy, I don't have to worry about them, we don't have strict rules except do your homework first. We lie in a Hispanic community with drugs and lots of gang activity, my kids are clean. The older one serves on the committee of city parks and recreation.
I'm a single mom, got full custody of them in April of this year, before that, they had to endure a rude, emotionally bullying step mom and a dad who didn't care at all about them. They lived with them half time. My kids are still well adjusted, happy, healthy and they do the right things.
Wanna know my secret?
I was there for them. I didn't remarry (been divorced 10 years) I spend all my time with them, I know all their friends, they all come to my house, we share all activities, we talk all the time, I LISTEN, I want to know what's going on every day, I am involved with their school projects, I listen to their homework as they work on it, I play with them.... I made them priority. (I work full time and I don't get child support.) BE THERE for your kids. They will turn out just fine.

Andrea - posted on 03/07/2013

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Hi Shanon,
My daughter is 16 as well on drugs and steals. I just caught her today ripping off her brother. I have tried everything for her. Shanon it's hard for me to do what I am going to do today. But I have to call the Police and report her and get her in Juvenile Detention. I wish I did it last year. My daughter as been to court for shop lifting 3 years ago.
I wish you all the best. As far as your daughters excuse my daughter gave me that very same excuse 3 years ago. Now I have a far worse problem with her. Please play hard ball right away my mistake was hoping and believing that my daughter will change. I gave it 3 years and it's only getting worse.

Angie - posted on 10/17/2009

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Only let her got to the mall when YOU are there to supervise her. It's not fair to the store owners for you not to be there to make sure she's not stealing from them.

Maria - posted on 10/16/2009

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Does she realize that at 16, she can be tried as an adult if she ever gets in trouble again, and no longer as a juvenile? Let her know of the consequences of getting in jail. Tell her you love her too much to see her go to jail, but can't afford to bail her out. You're a good mum, just sometimes, it's peer pressure that gets our teens in trouble. Maybe a part-time job will help her realize how it is to make a living and teach her to value the dollar. Good luck!

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