16 yr old daughter out of control and an I don't care attitude

Sherri - posted on 10/06/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Please help give me advise. I'm a single mom and my 16 yr old is really tough to handle. She is very disrespectful and has a bad attitude towards me and even family. She jus seems not to care about anything. She gets angry alot and will yell t me and and will blurt out bad words. She has a short fuse. She doesn't realize I'm trying to help her with school so she can make up credits and she only has a cpl yrs left of high school. When I tell her to go straight to her grandmas after school till I get off of work she sometimes don't listen and will get a ride home. One day I came home to the smell of marijuana and she denied it and told me I was smelling things. I'm no dummy! She tries to tell me she's going somewhere with friends instead of asking me. She won't do chores unless I have to constantly treat myself. Then she gets mad when I repeat myself. She's old enough to know how to cook n clean and I'm just stressed out emotionally with her most of the time. It's hard and I'm tired of the constant attitudes and direspect. I told her I'm not taking her shopping or buying her things anymore until she can change. Please help me with suggestions I'm desperate!

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Sherri - posted on 10/07/2013

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Thank u for responding Karen. Ya I never would imagine I would go down this tough road. It's really depressing. I'm not my chipper self these days dealing with this. Last yr at this time when she started with all this I had no choice but to send her to live with her dad in Arizona to see if she would change. New school and new environment. It kinda started working but one day she was 2 hours late coming home from school and her dad was so upset he called me and told me to pick her up and bring her back to live with me. Since she's been back she seems more rebellious after I set the ground rules. She's still upset with her dad how he handled the situation. It's like he gave up so easily after he told me she was doing good. Now back to ur daughter i hope she realizes soon but do these teens really out grow this stage? I only have my one daughter so I really don't know but I have been told she will out grow it. I didn't even have her a bday party because of the issues. She don't have a phn and with this going on I feel I shldnt get her one.

Karen - posted on 10/07/2013

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Hello Sherri, I sympathize with you, My daughter too has been acting the same way now for about 6 months maybe longer. It all started when she changed her group of friends and I am sure it is because of them smoking pot. My daughter is now 17 soon to be 18 and her behavior has gotten worse. It has been a roller coaster ride and we still have not gotten off! She left home the day before mothers day and was gone most of the summer and moved in with some guy and was stoned all the time from what I heard. I too cried for days and weeks, and even had to quit one of my jobs so I could regroup. There`s so much more to this story but what I am going to tell you is Get support for you from a trusted friend or family member, counselor (to hold you up) and lay the law down. You must be consistent and firm and make a plan of what you except from her and what consequences will be implemented if the rules are not followed. This is going to be the fight of your life! Your daughters life! With her being 16 you still have time to get her under control. Once she turns 17 no one can force her to do anything including the police. Shes considered an adult when she turns 17! You might want to change schools to get her away from her friends, and make her volunteer after school to keep her busy. You might want to consider a boarding school or wilderness program. I wish I would of got a loan and sent her to one of the programs , I thought I could fix her but nothing has worked. I am married and have 2 other daughters and we all have tried everything. I changed schools last year for her but she begged me to go back and I caved and regret it!She promised to do better but actually I think it got worse. Her grades when way down and in May she stopped going to school after she took off . Now shes at the alternative high school with even more pot drug influence. She informed me she was leaving last night to go to her friends to spend the night and I said no and she left. She also has been suspended for not making up a detention. This is something I never dreamed of from her! Total disrespect. She doesn't care about anything! She had a good job working with horses and getting a horse to ride for working there,she quit that too! I hope I am not scaring you but it will only get worse if you don't make a plan and prepare your self for a very hard battle.

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