17 year old in trouble

Ericas - posted on 02/05/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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my son will be 18 in july. right now he's living in another state because he got into some trouble and is court ordered to be at a treatment center for troubled boys. he can only stay at this home until he's 18 and if he does not complete the program he may finish his time in jail. my problem is that he needs to get his act together really really fast. He seems to think everything is a joke and it's no big deal.. for months now i have been his cheerleader telling him he could do it. i have been super positive until now. i really just feel like he is an adult, and if this is the life he wants, There's not really much I can do. is anyone else in a similar situation? I could really use some advice.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/06/2013

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Erica, you can't make him grow up. The best (yes, hardest) thing you can do is let him find out that life ain't a box of chocolates, nor is it a rose garden, and stupid actions do have consequences. Since he's having some difficulty figuring that out, even with the help of a judge, it's going to be a rough go for him.

So, here's the deal. He's got his sentence. He's got his consequences laid out clearly in front of him. HE WILL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT HIMSELF IF HE ENDS UP FINISHING HIS SENTENCE IN JAIL. And that may be just what he needs to put him on the right track.

I know it's difficult, but there are just some times that you have to step back and let them hit the rock hard place.

Either that, or do send him to the military.

Rolando - posted on 02/06/2013

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Lisa is right! One thing that worked with me when i was his age was that my mom gave me an option. straiten up or find a place to live. And i did for a while. Then i was kicked out! that's when i found out the hard way that friends are only friends when you don't need them. I ended up back at home and i was good for a while and i started up again.So my dad made me join the marines. That's what did it for me. I'm not saying to send him off to the military but to give him an option with a big can of tough love. God Bless

Lisa - posted on 02/06/2013

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Ericas Pugsinreno, While I don't have an adult son yet he is almost there. My son is 15 and thinks life is one big "Good Time"! He doesn't follow through with anything in his life right now ,... at all? What I think you should do with your teenis, let him go. You did the best you could, you brought him through to adulthood, and from what I read, have been his advocate all that time and then some....! I commend you for your perserverance!! You gave your son Love and tried to give him understanding but he still chose HIS path! I am finding this out with my son as well. You can only give them the tools....They have to decide what THEY want to do with them. I wish I knew more, but i'm not a therapist! I'm in my late 50's and have been around the block a time or two, so I am saying this from insite I gleened from life. You need to take care of you now. And when he really grows up, he will see what you were trying to do for him. An old poem says ( " If you love something, set it free......If it comes back to you, it's yours.........If it doesn't, it never was".....) He knows you Love him and he knows you'll always be there. B...ut that doesn't mean you have to watch as he learns life lessons the hard way....either!! Godbless and stay strong you are doing all the right things, ;) Lisa B.

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