17 yr old daughter is a NIGHTMARE

Tamra - posted on 01/31/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 17 year old daughter is the most disrespectful girl on the planet. Every single time I say ANYTHING to her, she has a smart mouth, always has to get the last word. She recently started doing cyber school so she can work, which means she is home all day. Ive taken her phone from her over and over for racy photos to boys, and just recently, she lost her virginity on a dressing room floor at the mall. She lies about everything from where shes going to "did you eat the last bagel?". We are a good family, she gets treated very well. Never been spanked, has been grounded though. I don't let her "car ride" with friends (afraid the kids will crash), and I check up on her when she goes somewhere. A lot of this is out of worry that something will happen to her. But I am afraid that being a little protective all these years is causing her to rebel. Does this sound like the case, or is it normal teenage behavior? Im at my wits end with her. Sometimes I dread waking her in the morning because she is constantly arguing with me. I cant get her to understand that I am the mother, and SHE is the teenager. Help. Any advice at all would be appreciated.

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God, girls can be hell! We've been through that stage to a degree. Sometimes I've dreaded going home b/c she would be there, sometimes I've driven a mile and just sat in my car, to get away.
This is 'normal behavior' for a lot of teens, not all. What I mean to say is that A LOT of parents go through this. It DOES pass, although it's horrible. (It's an ugly ugly feeling not to presently like your own kid). My daughter has lied for years. Have never been able to figure it out.
The over-protective thing can have it's drawback. I've been there, now she's rebelling from that.
It is also HORRIBLE (!!!) when they're home all day, especially if you are too! There is faaaar too many disrespectful exchanges when there is too much time spent together.
Counseling can be fruitless and a huge waste of money if you have an uncooperative kid, unless you go just for yourself.
I was always told (when we were going through that stage) to 'not let it bother me'. Well, all the stuff drove me insane but it IS good advice to try and overlook stuff.
If she's having sex on a floor in the mall- we just can't control everything. It made me crazy not to be 'in control' of my child, when I had been in charge for so many years!!!
It doesn't last forever though. It's a HORRIBLE time but it passes.
Hang in there and continue to talk to other moms. I was embarrassed to talk to other moms b/c I was ashamed of her behavior and no one else was going through that with their kid but to keep it bottled up is a mistake. Hang in there mom! It DOES get better. Pray too, it helps preserve your sanity.

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