Allowance/chores

Kay - posted on 11/15/2009 ( 38 moms have responded )

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Ok we are currently debating chores/allowance with my son. He currently is responsible for burning trash as needed, cleaning room & dishes daily (we have a dishwasher) - unloading day is a thrill! He has had these same chores forever, occasionally adlibbing extra or less. He gets $10/wk for this BUT I think it's time for an update. He has not been getting $ due to not doing chores the way i want them done, & still wanting extra $. Anyway, wondering what consensus is on this age for chores expected & pay. I feel like I let alot go as long as he does it eventually....he has cell/comp./xbox also.

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Tina - posted on 08/17/2011

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this has worked wonders in our family. Determine a "price" for each chore on a chart. If the chore is done properly and without reminding, they get the full pay. If not done, done well, or if you have to tell them to do it, deduct that days' amount from the allowance. Keep track for the week. give him the money and show him the chart...then have him pay you back for the days that were not up to par. Believe me...when they have to give back the part that they did not earn they begin to work a lot harder for their allowance!



This teaches them the value of a hard earned allowance, but also teaches them to be independent, motivated, and a good work ethic. I do not pay a large allowance, as I pay for other things that they "want" to do during the week/month. If they do something above and beyond, they earn extra without penalty. Additionally, I expect them to donate and save a potion of their income. I want to teach the value of saving money, especially now!

Susan - posted on 08/12/2011

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We decided that we shouldn't pay our kids for doing chores around the house because they consistently do a poor job. What they deem hard work is a requirement of daily life, we all have to pick up after ourselves and help maintain the household. They don't pay us for their internet or phone usage, to cook all of their meals, do their laundry, or anything else. If they take care of business without grumbling about it and make the effort to do a good job, we give them money for the movies and the mall. It didn't take them long to figure out what happens when they don't help out.

Jurnee - posted on 08/10/2011

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I never gave an allowance for chores. Everyone is just expected to keep their rooms clean, pick up after themselves, do their own laundry when old enough, and just generally help out when needed.

Lori - posted on 08/10/2011

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@Angie Bachicha Kissner - When giving out chore assignments, do you give specific, measurable actions? For example, give a 3 x 5 index card with BATHROOM on the top. Below is a bullet list of items, wash mirrors w/o streaks, sweep floor and throw away in trash can, empty trash can, scour sinks and tub, etc... If you give your child a list, and possibly have a family fun timing bell along with it. Try this and post the results... it might shock you.. or me!! :)

Katie - posted on 11/17/2009

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As a teen your son should understand that the allowance is a means for him to learn the value of a dollar by beginning to pay for his "toys" himself. By denying the allowance he will find out that you only get paid for quality work in life not by the simple fact that you did it at all. If you let him get away with slacker work he will more than likely believe it's ok. My father taught me we are judged by the quality of work we do. A half done job means your a half done person. Don't let him grow up to give that kind of impression. Pride in your work means you have pride in yourself. Teach him to be proud of himself and he will learn to give his best. Also future roommates will not be paying him to do his share of the chores. I fear if he's only doing his part to get paid what kind of husband or roommate is he going to be? He needs to know that whether he lives alone or with anyone else chores are a part of life. It's a blessing to earn an allowance in a family, not an automatic right.

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Jennifer - posted on 10/03/2011

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allowance in our home is only loosely tied to chores...although allowance goes away if the kids don't do their chores, but they don't have the option of deciding they'd rather go without the $ than do the chore.
Chores are required because they are part of the family,and families have to work together to keep the household running smoothly. Their allowance is part of the family's income that they are "allowed" to control. If they don't pitch in they don't deserve allowance. If chores are not getting done to my standards, then I bring it up in our weekly family meeting (we talk through whatever is on everyone's agenda , discuss any problems, then play a few family games)

Lisa - posted on 08/16/2011

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I have similar problem with my 15year old. Problem.... As a single unemployed mother of 4- I cant afford any allowance, so as an alternative with responsibility comes freedom. The latest example that apears to be working is if a chore needs to be done and they have to be asked more than 2 times within a reasonable time to do it, what ever they are doing that is keeping them from doing the chore is removed until its done. Example- chore unload dishwasher and take out trash- distraction XBOX- 1 warning if not completed in reasonable time (10 min or so so they can save game) 2nd time then the game is unplugged and chore is expected to be done. He pushed the envelope and lost Playstation, XBOX and friend coming over for taking out trash. once job is done items are returned. Grave infringements can mean a week grounding or more. My kids are expected to do age appropriate tasks. Eldest is trash and living room, middlest is recycle and cat/bathroom, youngest is dining room & putting away laundry, 2 year old is responsible for toys, and dusting, and all are expcted to clean up after themselves, keep thier own room space picked up and clean and rotate on things like folding laundry and dish washer duties. Lately I have been enforcing loading as well as unloading because they have not been taking care of thier dishes like they are supposed to in the kitchen. I am responsible for all other aspects so its more of if you mess up my space, then you have to clean it too mentality. The oldest 3 on occassion also weed eat, mow, and switch laundry from washer to dryer too. I think $40-50 is ample for just spending money if you can afford it, but if you are including toiletries or necesaties it should be over and above that. My son has to pay for school functions, special clothing, and what I would call frivioulous things ie 15$ v 2$ razor for himself. I I provide basics but he has to earn money for other expenses. I also expect him to have a job to pay for his own car insurance and gas to get where he's going once he's driving and before he gets his license. If you are giving your son an allowence with the expectation of properly completed chores, then if he withholds the chores, you with hold the money. be firm and stand your ground though teens are slippery lil buggers n will try to negotiate or promise you the world- your response should be- sure as soon as you finish your chores! And what always ends a potential argument in my household is just answer each effort with "I Love You!" as in "but mom If I dont go then ...." mom then responds "but Son, I love you." and always say it with a smile. if they do not do it right, I work with them & show them thier error and proper way. if they still get it incorrect then I do the rule of 10--- example safety latch not hooked properly..... solution keep doing it untill it is corectly latched 10 times. WORKS GREAT and they learn right way. This also workds for slammed doors--- open and close until done properly 10 times. lol

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At our house, we only pay about 3 cents a chore. They can earn 2 dollars a week if they do what is required. At the end of the week if they have earned at least 5 dollars, we will match it. My oldest is 10, and her chores include sweeping, mopping, loading unloading dishes, scrubbing pots, cleaning closet once a week, folding and putting laundry away, washing baseboards/woodwork. She doesn't do this by herself though, I always stay with my children when they're doing their chores so they know Mom is not lazy, and I love to encourage them and ask in what areas I can help. I always make sure that they see that I don't sit around and watch TV or do computer while they're working hard. We all work hard together, and that way I can train them as needed. If your little boy isn't doing his chores correctly, then perhaps he needs you to retrain him. Work together with him over the next few weeks to make sure he does his work carefully, completely, and correctly. Don't ever go back and fix it for him. If you are having to do that, he is either a. too young for the chore or he is being a little lazy in that area. We don't ever expect to pay more than 2 dollars a week for chores, as they don't pay me to work, and the house is not just mom's responsibility, its everyone's. We do give Dad a break though, because he blesses us with a house and food and his love. (But he likes to clean the kitchen and make dinner for us a couple times a week!)

Emily - posted on 08/12/2011

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we took allowance to mean that my children could keep any spare change that htey found like in the couch,on floor, ect.

Jessica - posted on 08/12/2011

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I'm still figuring out the allowance thing, but most of what I have read both in the banking industry and in parenting resources is that an allowance should be to teach kids how to handle money, and chores should be to teach them to contribute to a family and the two are mutually exclusive. I'm still deciding how I am going to do the allowance thing, but I do have chores as a function of being part of the family, each of my kids have age appropriate chores (really to pick up after themselves).

Dawn - posted on 08/12/2011

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as a family memeber he gets rent , food and board free. I dont have income to pay for chores, and ya know what we shouldnt have to ,not for regular chores. when my daughter doesnt she doesnt get things she wants. and I will say ohh did you say you wanted that?? like I wanted you to do what?? it isnt fair if you reward your kids double your work and give them what they want if they cant help out, they cant have what they want sucks but ya know.I have gotten to the point I am tired of i promised i will, it will be done or she isnt getting period. mean perhaps.

Lori - posted on 08/10/2011

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Studies have shone that attaching allowance with chores has a negative effect on children when they are older. The whole, hour for dollar mentality. What works for many of the families I work with is, allowance is (?? - your choice, but should match responsibility and age) because this is the way we run our household... and chores are (?? - same thought) because this is the way we run our household.

BIGGER QUESTION in my book is -- are the children learning financial awareness. One parenting coach I met before I started my own company told me to have 3 separate boxes (save, spend, give). Your child will then learn to take their $6, put $2 in each box, and see the value of service (give) as well as saving.

Lorrie - posted on 11/20/2009

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I quit giving allowance for daily chores that are the kids normal responsibilites, I tell them they are part of family and family helps one another. The way they earn money is by doing things that are outside of cleaning the room..... If they do not do the job right (I write a list of exactly what I want done and how )they don't get paid, and I give them a dollar amount before hand depending on what job it is. And then after paying them they have to give me a percentage to put into their savings.

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I dont pay my son a dime. I give him everything he needs, food, clothes, etc and if he needs money I give it to him. I always ask him if he needs money for things and he always gives it back if he does not use it. I want him to know he lives here also so he needs to help keep it clean. On another note 10 dollars a week is nice for a kid, I would have loved to have you for my mom. ;p

Tina - posted on 11/20/2009

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my daughter get 20 dollars a week if all her chores r done if not then whatever she hads done she gets paid for maybe he thinks u r too picky on how to do chores so think about if it really matters or not if they r getting done then it should be ok well good luck!

Barbara - posted on 11/19/2009

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I do not give give money for chores however I do give a monthly allowance which the children can use to buy gum, go to the movies, go skating etc without breaking my budget. you know how you get to the check out counter at the supermarket and they want ever pack of gum, every candy bar. They have to decide if their money is worth spending on those items, because I no longer will buy them. And you know what... They do no buy or ask for as much junk, because they then will not have money for other things that come up. IF the run out of money for the month too bad. They have to wait until next month. The monthly allowance is enough to cover 2 movies and 1 ice skating a month and eating 2 slices of pizza with friends after 1 movie. .

Elizabeth - posted on 11/19/2009

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I have learned that allowences don't work with my 13 year old, much like your child she has had the same chores for ever and for some reason or another never gets them done.

Jennifer - posted on 11/19/2009

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My teen girls are expected to do daily and Saturday chores-my way.They can go on their computers,watch tv,go to social activities or play video games if their school work and chores are done.I don't pay them an allowance and don't expect to.I do pay monthly for socials at school which are about 5 dollars.I pay for their house and food.They should help.I would have a talk and say the chores need to be done this way etc and if not no cash.Take away other priv.too.Kids need to learn that when they go out in the real world a boss isnt going to go"ok,we will let you sit there today and pay you anyway"Does your kid want more money?Ask.And see what he says.They need to learn to say what they need and why too.Hope it goes well.Take care

Tanya - posted on 11/18/2009

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Hi, Kay! I have a teenager, whom has luxury items I never had as a teenager. However, I'd made it plain to her that I expect chores to be done. She's fairly good at doing them, although she's slacked off a few times. If the chore(s) are neglected, she's aware that I'll confiscate her ipod/cellphone/cable box, etc. I'd been thinking about trying a new system. I was thinking of banking $20 for her every two weeks, during which she had to complete her daily chores. If she didn't, she would lose, say, a dollar per task. By the time my pay day rolled around, she would get the balance. I don't know how it'll work out, but I thought it might give my daughter a chance to realize the "give and take" system. lol My daughter will be turning 15 this month.

Katie - posted on 11/18/2009

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Good luck with the bridging over from home to independence. Remind him that having roommates will help him with his own expenses down the road. A good roommate is one that cleans up after himself and young ladies do note how a dates home looks if she comes over to watch a movie. Noone wants to live with an untidy person. I've lived with a few myself. If your happy chances are roomies will be too..

Kay - posted on 11/18/2009

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well thanks for all the input! I had him read some of your feedback...He was'nt impressed!! But he is doing much better about doing chores appropriately & timely. hopefully it'll last lol I have'nt even agreed to pay him again, I HAVE allowed him to keep his electronics & go to the ymca to lift since football is over. He did note that i did'nt verify his age which is 15 1/2 I do think he gets he has it pretty easy, but i guess they'll try for all they can get (or get out of!) I have counsled him about handling $ & he actually does pretty well. I'm thinkin a real job is in his near future with driving coming real soon!

Kathleen - posted on 11/18/2009

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I don't believe in allowance. It takes a family to run a household and everyone should pitch in without an expectation of getting paid. If they do something above and beyond the typical household chores, then yes perhaps payment is in order.

Geetha - posted on 11/18/2009

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Kay yes I do have a 13 yr old daughter. Whenever she is going out with her friends for a movie, restaurant, we ensure that she has enough money so that she should not be in a possition to be under any obligation. It helps to give the children money and ask them to be responsible. It would be good if you could ask him to give an idea how he would spend once he comes back. Even he has gone over board, would be a good idea to explain how hard you guys work to earn the same. What all could happen with not managing finances. Some examples of your friends who have lost their fortune by not caring enough or being cautious. Children listen to live experiences and not lectures. A time should be planned for tackling these issues than on the spot is my take. Afterall, they are our children and need their space. We shouldnt have any problems in guiding them as we have brought them to this world with lot of dreams. Just try and recollect how did you handle and what was your state of mind at the same age? That should probably answer all your concerns. My take is be little more patient and sensitive towards his requirements.... Do share how you handled this? Cheers:)

Melissa - posted on 11/18/2009

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I think an update may be needed. He might not be doing a good job because he's bored. Sometimes a change is good thing. $10 a weeks seems reasonable to me. That's plenty of money for spending cash. If he's in need of some extra cash, maybe have a list of other chores he could do to earn some more.

Carlee - posted on 11/18/2009

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Hi there, my 3 kids don't get allowances, but we do alot of family things together. Weekends away, horse riding, motorbike riding and camping. We are trying to teach our kids that money dosn't always make the world go round but fun quality family time makes things a whole lot better. We showed the kids what happens when things didn't get done, like if the Xarn didn't do the dishes I was'nt able to cook tea and we would have bread and butter. { yum yum } When there rooms are messy I cant go in there to kiss them goodnight or get anything for them as I cant get in the door, that 1 works most of the time. I think kids need to learn to do these things as a normal part of life not as a chore. Good luck with it all.

Geetha - posted on 11/18/2009

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Kay...paying for the chores pays very well as children starts understanding that their hard work is paid and secondly nothing comes free. This would make them more sensible. I would say there should not be any age barrier..It need not be always money when they are small...a pat on the back, appreciation in front of friends or addults, thanking him or her also spending some time he or she wants to spend. Some days letting them off the way they want to be...He needs to get paid emotionally too..! By this, the family value will increase. A dinner for him and his friend with your family should work when he does a great job. A weekend trek or a jungle walk with a group of his friends sponsored by you..For this you could club many rewards together. Good luck...Children does pose challenges and makes you more smarter and I am sure you are one!

Take care

Kathy - posted on 11/17/2009

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IF he is old enough for a cell and computer and xbox he is old enough for other responsibilities. My thoughts are: We are to do our best to train them in a way that they will be able to take care of themselves. SO learning to do laundry at 9 yrs old--no problem. Running the vacuum won't hurt either. Maybe for interest sake, try a different set of chores one week and the next have another set.

Sajael - posted on 11/17/2009

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Same here. No allowance for my children either. Same reason, no one pays me for the things I do. We all live here. We are a community and everyone has to help make the community work.

User - posted on 11/17/2009

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same here we don't do allowance... i don't get paid for being a house keeper why should my 15 and 12 yr old?..We work off of a GIFTING them for thing they might do..such as helping me with my choices not there's or just because they are behaving like thay should..If you wanta teach kids money then tell them to get a job there is always babysitting or yard work in the neighbors.

Lara - posted on 11/16/2009

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My kids have a week of dishes... i dont do allowances..because they eat..and sleep.. and have all there stuff in my house...or our home... so we are all in it together...i dont get paid to pick up there stuff... so i feel that they need to help.. and they will get a nice meal...and a warm place to sleep...

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Do not cut him slack........he can not being doing things when he feels like it.....if he does not get things done he stays home....maybe take his cell phone for a week(who pays that bill?)--teens can not do without it these days--no xbox--costs electricity. Take your stand!!!

Genevieve - posted on 11/16/2009

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I have a 14 yr old step son and a 10 yr old daughter. I agree with some of the stuff on here already...I do not pay for stuff like taking out the garbage, cleaning bathroom, doing dishes...everyday stuff. I do give them a couple of days off a week where they have nothing to do. If they want to earn $$ for specific things I come up with projects for them like mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, etc. And yes, I do give them money for activities like going to football games or the movies....However, they have a chore list for the entire month. I post a calendar with their daily chores on it. It is their responability to make sure those chores get done by 5:00. The first time in a month they're not done, they get a warning and no tv/video games or outings until chores are done. The 2nd time they automatically lose tv/video games and all other manners of fun for 2 days or untill the chores are done, whichever is longer. 3rd time it's 1 week. I've never had to go a full week. Oh, and if they're not done the right way it's the same as if they're not done at all. Seems to work for me. Good luck!! : )

Kay - posted on 11/16/2009

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Alot of this is things I have told him real job, he lives here, & of course no one pays me to do housework! I get his point of changing the game b/c not been giving him $ but do it right! sounds like alot of other kids have more chores....do u give them $ for when they go some where like ball games, movies, etc.?

Joeann - posted on 11/16/2009

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well does he pay u for room and board? taking him places or anything else? probably not. so why should u pay him for him to take care of himself. when he gets out on his own who will pay 4 him to clean up after himself. children need to learn how to take care of themselves and not put a price on it.

Lynette - posted on 11/15/2009

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Sounds to me like an update is in order. When things aren't done correctly at our house, nobody goes anywhere or does anything until they are. Make sure that you model for him exactly how to do it. NO money if you have to ask him redo.

JOB training! He will not get hours at any job if he does it half A**!



Also, there should be certain things that are just done b/c they need to be done.

I don't get paid for cleaning the house and doing laundry!



EXTRA's are the things to get paid for...things that you may pay someone for anyway, like cleaning out the garage, mowing the lawn, ceiling fans, cleaning closets, bathing the dog, shampooing carpet, baseboards, windows...



Just an idea...

Wendy - posted on 11/15/2009

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Hello Kay,

well my son is 13, and I have a 14 year old daughter and their chores are similar to yours except for the burning trash we would be fined for that where I live :) anyway they alternate between kitchen (loading dishes, unloading, clearing counters, and wiping down appliances) the restroom duties are (trash in the whole house, and cleaning the restroom and glass) my 5 year old helps with the living room and we are all responsible for our laundry and rooms. If their chores are not done they don't get to use the computer or play their games. I only let my son play his ps3 on weekends so (fri-sun) so for every day he doesn't do his chore he gets a day taken from his "game day"if he has every day taken and still doesn't do his chore right then his chore will double the following week by doing both and giving the other one a week off.. its worked so far. As for allowances they don't get one but they go to work 2x a month with their dad and he pays them $40 a day so they have plenty of money, with that they have a savings account and put 1/2 in so they get 40 bucks a month to actually spend.. girll I think that is plenty for a 14 year old :) good luck.

Wendy

Wendy - posted on 11/15/2009

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Hello Kay,

well my son is 13, and I have a 14 year old daughter and their chores are similar to yours except for the burning trash we would be fined for that where I live :) anyway they alternate between kitchen (loading dishes, unloading, clearing counters, and wiping down appliances) the restroom duties are (trash in the whole house, and cleaning the restroom and glass) my 5 year old helps with the living room and we are all responsible for our laundry and rooms. If their chores are not done they don't get to use the computer or play their games. I only let my son play his ps3 on weekends so (fri-sun) so for every day he doesn't do his chore he gets a day taken from his "game day"if he has every day taken and still doesn't do his chore right then his chore will double the following week by doing both and giving the other one a week off.. its worked so far. As for allowances they don't get one but they go to work 2x a month with their dad and he pays them $40 a day so they have plenty of money, with that they have a savings account and put 1/2 in so they get 40 bucks a month to actually spend.. girll I think that is plenty for a 14 year old :) good luck.

Wendy

Angie - posted on 11/15/2009

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I have never given my children allowances because they have never done a very good job doing their chores. $10 a week sounds like more than enough money for a child to have for spending money especially if you are paying his cell phone bill.

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