Am I the only one ?

Gayle - posted on 07/26/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is almost 19. Before he was born I was told I wasnt going to live past him being age 8,so I dedicated my life to him maybe too much. I am now healthy, and he is doing the things a young man does. My partner is traveling with work more now then ever. This has resulted in me feeling like a lonley teenage girl. I am still expected to be available for my family at the drop of a hat, but I need something for myself now that I almost 40. I want to feel more cared for from my hubby, but really I think I am just being childish and need to figure out how to find something in life for me. Sounds easy, but it hasn't been. When hubby travels I don't know what to do with myself. Anyone else felt this way? I know , join a book club , go to church..... But it feels like I need to make more of an enternal shift. I just want to kwow if others have felt the same way ?

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Tracy - posted on 08/05/2013

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You said you were not expected to live, but it's unclear what the medical condition was. So, if it's not too hard emotionally, maybe try volunteering at your local hospital. Maybe reading books to children who are there long term or holding babies in the NICU or visiting with the elderly. It sounds like you may know what it's like to be in their shoes and just a little comfort can go a long way. Of course, there are TONS of other volunteering opportunities you can do out there in the world. Through volunteering, you may just find a niche that calls to you. :) And you are NOT being selfish. Every human being needs something to make them feel productive and needed or else their will to exist just disappears. They become invisible. You need to run around and find something that will bring out your passion! Though I wasn't ill, I am in your boat in the fact that I have dedicated everything I do to my family. I am finally starting a photography business (I LOVE photography) and I feel alive for the first time in YEARS. LOL, ignore the complaints of long hours... I love it. One day, when the kids are all grown and gone, I will probably run off with the peace corps or something - what I've wanted to do since I was a teenager! Once upon a time, I'm sure you had a similar thought when you were younger. What was it? :)

Noemis - posted on 07/30/2013

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Hi Gayle
I do not feel that you are being childish by any means. You are human, it is almost like wolves. We need our pack. We need to reach out and know someone is there. I know where you are coming from and understand your words completely. You devoted your life to your child and that fullfilled you, now he is grown and being out and about is his thing. Now it is time for Gayle to find Gayle. It is time for you to look within and see what is that makes you happy. Being a wife and mother we are always expected to drop whatever and tend to their needs. But you have alone time now. You might have to reach out from your comfort zone or try new things to see who you Gayle is today. Hope this helps you find your path.

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Deborah Ridgely - posted on 08/03/2013

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It sounds like you need to find something to do with your time that is fun and fulfilling! Consider volunteering in your church or community, joining a sport or health club, get into a socially stimulating group like a crafting club or scrapbooking group. Or, you could go back to school and reach for a career goal. All of these ideas can help you make new friends, which will help you. Also, consider asking to go aloñg with your husband on his trips, which can strengthen ypur marriage. Praying for you!

Melissa - posted on 07/28/2013

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What do u enjoy as hobbies? I joined a gym and have made lots of new friends. They inspire me to be the best I can be. How about cooking lessons or art classes! Yoga is quite a relaxing enjoyable activity. What I'm trying to say is find something that interests u and make it part of your weekly routine. You need to fill the time that was taken up by your son. Make a weekly visit to your son, friend or family member. Fill your days. Tell your husband how u are feeling. Men become more aware of what their doing or not doing if u are honest and tell them( without hurting their feelings).
I hope this might help. Take care.

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