Am I too overprotective of my 15 year old daughter

Jennifer - posted on 03/14/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have always made it clear to my daughter that she is not to date until she is at least 16 and that I feel she is mature and responsible enough. She informed me today that she met a guy at a track meet that goes to a school about an hour away. He is a senior and graduating in 3 months. She asked if I could meet him cause she wants to date him soon. I told her she can't date now and that dating a guy who will be 18 soon was not a good idea. She is mad at me and said I don't let her do anything. I am open with her doing things with friends, but because I insist on knowing who her friends are and the parents before she goes to their house, she dosn't ask to do things unless she can go without me knowing anything. She is now resenting me because I have specific rules in place and dosn't like them. She also admitted that since she was a freshman, she has had a "boyfriend" for the past 1 1/2 years and just broke up with him because of this new guy she met. I had now idea she had this boyfriend because she was only spending time with him at school. Am I being too overprotective?

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Lisa - posted on 03/18/2013

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Not at all! You really can't do anything about "boyfriends" at school, but you can and should have a say in whether or not she is mature enough to go somewhere alone, away from school, with a boy who is almost 18!

If she is really insisting that she can't live without this guy, show her how open minded you are by inviting him to some family-type activities. But make it clear that you are sticking to your guns about the two of them going anywhere alone together. In fact, it might be time to add a codicil to that rule that says dating after 16 and until she's 18 needs to be group dates with her friends that you know and trust.

It will give you time to get to know him and assess his personality for yourself and if he's a typical guy, he'll get tired of hanging around for family movie night and games of monopoly and move on. Of course, if he's a gem, he may be around for a while, so getting to know him is a good thing.

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