Awkward and uncomfortable sexual behaviour question

Sara - posted on 10/31/2017 ( 2 moms have responded )

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This is quite embarrassing to tell and im not sure how to say this tactfully. My daughter just turned 13 and ive known she has been masturbating for a year or so and had the talk about doing it in your room kind of thing. But recently when shes sitting around watching tv, i've seen her several times, stick her hand down her sweats for a second and then inconspicuously try to smell her fingers.
Its weird because my brothers used to stick their hands in the pants or mindlessly grabbing their crotches for what seemed like always, and we just used to it. I don't think its quite the same the same with girls. I'm not sure, but i'm worried now that she has just turned 13 and i was concerned about her just mindlessly doing this when shes hanging around her friends and she gets made fun of or something. Is this normal? How do i approach this with her? How different is this from my son always tugging at his private?

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Emma - posted on 11/02/2017

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She just might enjoy her smell from when she plays with herself or she has just become aware of the smell and is curious.

Bella - posted on 11/02/2017

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I think while this natural experimentation with the body may be part of growing up, as parents we can help our children recognize healthy boundaries for this form of touch. Yes God designed those parts of our body to feel good when touched but the purpose is ultimately in love and relationship in a marriage. There is no reason to make her feel ashamed of the act, discussing with her the need to exercise self control especially when she's around other people is beneficial.

Something to be considered also is masturbation can create an addictive habit if it evolves into a coping mechanism for stress or difficult emotions.
My suggestion is to help her to understand that her curiosity about her body is normal and the sexual stirrings she's feeling are normal part of growing up, but masturbation is not something that should consume her time even when she's at home. She can choose to do other things such as engaging intentionally in other actions like games, hobbies or sport activities are good alternatives.

Sara - posted on 11/01/2017

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Thank you for replying. Im pretty sure she knows that it is okay to masturbate, i just dont want embarrass her, but i guess its better that i do it as lightly as i can rather than someone else. Sarah, i think you make a good point that her doing without thinking means she is comfortable with herself. I will wait til i see her do it with just her and I and mention something when i see it. Is it normal that she smells her fingers afterward? Thank you

Emma - posted on 11/01/2017

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I also think it is quite healthy for her to masturbate like Sarah points out. She may not be aware how obvious it is as it's still new to her. Next time she does it explain that you noticed and that it's fine to do at home but she should be aware of it when she is out. If no one is around then she can. But at home she should be allowed feel freer to masturbate.

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Maryanne - posted on 01/14/2018

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all kids explore themselves i doubt she do it when otehrs liek friends there her mind wanders and do it i use as well i had large breasts always and used to fondel them when i was alone

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