Being a responsible parent

Karen - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have read many posts on here that just blow my mind. First off in my opinion we first and foremost our parents. I'm not trying to be my 16 year old son and 12 year old daughters friends. I'm their parent and I'm going to make decisions they don't like. I think that children need to be punished when they make bad decisions. My kids don't run the house my husband and I do. I listen when they want something but ultimately I am the parent and I have the final say. I know that kids are going to do things I don't like but that don't mean I have to condone it or throw my hands up and let them make the choice. My son and daughter try to do what they want but I step in and let them know the conquinse for their decisions. What has happened to saying NO? I guess I'm old fashioned. Let me know what you guys think. Children want boundaries they don't always know they do.


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Angie - posted on 08/04/2012




My dad and I have been talking about this so much lately as we are terrified where today's youth are headed. The majority of them are rude, disrespectful, entitled brats. Parents have replaced parenting with technology...not many take the time to communicate with other parents, let alone meet with them because they have handed over a cell phone. Social networking is not being monitored; therefore, 12-13-14yo kids are being exposed to adult situations they are really too young for. I am constantly astounded by how many parents are ok with boyfriends/girlfriends spending the night at their home, let alone provide alcohol to underage kids, smoke pot with kids, or even want to know if the kids found anything good breaking into cars....and yes, I know some in all those categories which has put me in the mean mom My 15yo hasn't been home since November because of his behavior choices that will not be tolerated in my home :(.my saving grace is my 20yo, although we battled for years over rules, now understands and gets it, has a ton of respect for me for it, and I am very proud of the responsible, respectful, hard-working young adult he it is all worth it in the end :)

Kristin - posted on 08/01/2012




I have three kids ages 16, 6, and 16 months. I have absolutely no problem saying no to my kids and they all know that good behavior has good consequences and bad behaviors have bad consequences. I let my teenage son make decisions for himself but he also has strict boundaries and it is sometimes hard and I understand where he is coming from but i always tell him I love him too much to let him screw his life up. I am very thankful that the only major issue we had with my 16 yr old is that he smoked POT for a coiuple of months. He was given a choice either give up POT or I took away all his privledges or he could move out on his own. After weighing it in his head and lots of research and discussions he opted to not smoke pot or do any drug. I still randomly drug test him and so far so good. But he also has chores to do around the house and if they dont get done he doesnt get to go see his friends. I give him a lot of trust and freedom to figure out who he is and what he wants to do with his life but he also knows every decision has consequences good or bad. He also works part time as he has to buy all the extras he wants ie gaming systems, ipod, i pad etc etc i also make him pay a portion of his cell phone. I feel that my job as a parent is to love, guide, and support my child into being a productive well rounded member of society. I do not feel that being a parent means i have to hand my kids everything they want, nor will i tolerate lack of respect. So far my kids are pretty good not perfect but good, they do as they are asked and my 16 yr old has pretty good money management skills and is also a very hard worker. I guess that also makes me old fashioned as well but at least i know push come to shove my kids will be strong independant indiiduals who will make smart educated decisions.

Deaunna - posted on 08/01/2012




Sounds like you are a good parent! I like the part about boundaries and consequences! When children know what is expected of them that sets them up for success.

I believe there are two important things to remember here. Always approach a child's misdeeds with empathy. Kids desperately need to know that someone understands how they feel. As a parent we should feel empathy when our child makes a mistake. We feel bad for them that they are going to have to have to suffer the consequences for their negative behavior or incorrect judgement. Without empathy, our children view us (parents) as the enemy and not as a caring, understanding, and loving parents.

Secondly, we need to remember that it's not part of our parenting description to force our children to behave (unless they are little and in danger). This is often where parents of tweens or teenager make the critical mistake that drives them to rebellion. Like you said, it's our job to set boundaries and consequences and I would like to add that we should follow through with empathy and loving kindness.

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