Best way to get my 14 year old daughter to no be messy and lazy!

Mandy - posted on 08/27/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Ok, I’m going to blame a lot of what I'm about to say on myself. My 14 year old daughter is so very lazy! When I say lazy I'm not speaking "couch potato" lazy. She’s very involved in dance (12 to 15 hours a week involved) and in great health not to mention a good student. When it comes to cleaning her room and cleaning up after herself, well, doing these things is nonexistent! She's border line hoarder. And I am so the opposite. I didn’t teach her the hording but I have been the "I can get it done faster by doing it myself", mother. I've been this way since the day my children were born. I’m guessing she just waits for me to clean her room and pick up after her. Since this has been our thing since birth. My 16 year old boy can be a bit lazy when it comes to cleaning up after himself but I just have to tell him to fix it only once and he is on it. My daughter well I just do it myself or we would live in mess! How do I reverse what I have done? She’s going to go to college in a few years and I’m sure there is no room mate that would put up with her messiness! HELP me reverse what I have instilled in her!

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Laura - posted on 08/29/2012

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When my husband and I got married, my SS was 11 years old and hardly ever had to clean up after himself and had no chores. To answer your question, you're going to have to be the Nike mom...as in, Just Do It (lol).



By that, I mean just set up some new standards already. Sit her down and let her know you're not going to pick up after her anymore and she's now responsible for her room. No more leaving dirty dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, etc. For your part, stop cleaning up after her! Her future roommates will thank you. Call her in on the spot when you see her messes and have her clean them up.



As far as the room, maybe this might help: every night before going to bed, my SS now has to clean up everything off of his bedroom floor. This keeps his room at a reasonably neat level day in and day out. Every Thursday, he is supposed to do a deep clean, which for a 13 year old means vacuuming, dusting, taking out the trash and putting things back into their place. He does not get to go out after school or touch the XBOX until this happens. If we come home and this is not done, but he has gone to meet friends or play games, a consequence happens. It's something short like no video games for 1 day.



Yea, kids won't clean to our standards 100% of the time, if at all. But I'd rather have mine learn to do it less than perfect than not at all. Good luck! :)

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