both my daughters moved to SAN DIEGO CALIF 5 months ago HELP

Michelle - posted on 11/05/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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NOT SURE WHAT TO DO- MY 2 GIRLS MOVED TO SAN DIEGO (22 AND 24 YRS OLD) AND MY WIFE AND I MISS THEM TERRIBLY, THEY ARE SHARING AN APARTMENT BUT THEY ARE STRUGGLING WORKING 2 JOBS- MY WIFE AND I ARE THINKING ABOUT MOVING THERE BUT WE HAVE NO PENSIONS AND WE ARE 55 AND 50 AND STILL NEED TO WORK - I HAVE A JOB BUT NOTHIONG WORTH DISCUSSING AND MY WIFE'S JOB IS OK BUT WE BOTH DONT HAVE BENEFITS, PROBLEM IS IF WE MOVE IT WILL COST US $100,000 MORE THEN IF WE STAY IN NEW YORK - WOULD U GO NOW OR WAIT TO LATER LIKE WHEN I AM COLLECTING SOCIAL SECURITY AND AM IN A BETTER FINANCIAL POSITION - ALSO TO MAKE SURE THE GIRLS ARE SETTLED AS U NEVER KNOW, THANKS ALL COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/07/2013

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So chat, text, email, and CALL your daughters. They made a choice to move. They are adults, so most likely had at least some idea of what it would take for the move.

As you know, moving is unsettling, and takes time to recover from. If they did not move into jobs, they're looking and trying to get set up now.

In all honesty, your girls are grown, and they are coping with life, just as we all have to do. If you swoop in now and "save" them, you'll run the risk of alienating them.

If you are concerned, send them gift cards for groceries. Walmart is pretty much country wide, and a gift card goes a long ways. Let them know that you are available to help, but don't baby them. Let them learn how to stand on their own feet. They'll be better off in the long run, and you won't be looking back in a few years and wondering why you're still fully supporting your adult children.

Itsacouponthing - posted on 11/06/2013

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I would wait. Right now, your kids aren't settled, and the fact is, they have to struggle so they learn how to get along in life. Most of us have been there. They could always come home, but they've chosen to make a life for themselves; let them. Meanwhile, take up new hobbies where you can make friends. Go to church if that makes sense for the two of you. Join a group that works for you.
Do they have cell phones? If so, pick yourself up one and USE it. Text them daily with some uplifting and cute message. (The newspaper is a great reference.) Those small texts will help them cope and they'll always smile when they remember you later.
I found an interesting article I think you could use. I'll be using it myself in about 3 years...
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/04/17...

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