cant cope anymore with my son!!!!

Tracey - posted on 05/14/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son has just turned 13, we ave had a bad couple of years what with me n his dad splitting up in a bad way which effected harry badly. Since then he has lived with me n his younger sister, still sees his dad some weekends n leads a normal life in n out of school. He has friends n is the most helpful polite boy around anyone else apart from me. He kicks punches shouts abuse swears breaks things etc when he doesn't like somethin. I started seeing someone the other day, he came round one night while kids were asleep, we were just watchin tv, harry comes in shouts at top of his voice at me "ur out of order" which has now ruined yet another relationship. I've been single for four years now but just coz I got kids surely im still allowed to have a life???? I've tried talkin to him, shouting at him, grounding him, punishing him n I've also tried ignoring him but its just getting worse. Its got to the point that I feel like I hate him at times like this. I ave arranged it with a family member for him to move in with them which I don't want to do but dunno what else to do. If you ave any advice or support please help xx

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Amy Nicole - posted on 05/14/2013

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I have a 12 year old son named nick he was once like this but i set him straight with a few steps i have accutly never ever yelled back at him but i did punish him i took away his most prized possetions and that would of been his phone,his sterio and going outside. He was so mad at me he kiked his door off the hindges when i did that and i told him i will not replace that door you now have no door so that means you have no privacy.I made him see what it was like without a parent figure making him his lunch and dinner he made it or he just didn't eat i would totally ignore him when he yelled at me,I made him ride the bus when i normally bring him too school in the car. He refused too fix him self a sandwich and i said fine you just won't eat and he had too do his own laundry and i did this for about 2 weeks and then he saw that i wasn't going too put up with it and i had too do this too him about a month ago and he still dosen't have a new door in his room he don't even have a messed up door it's totally off. Make him see what it's like without you.It seems harsh but it works.

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Margaret - posted on 06/03/2013

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Tracey,
Have you tried to seek medical help for his behavior? It sounds like a lot of anger to me. There's always something behind a child acting out in anyway. I would definitely explain his actions to his primary physician, they can steer you in the right direction. There is help out there!

T - posted on 06/02/2013

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How long do you wait to introduce the new person? Have you considered explaining to them up front that your child is having difficulty accepting a new person in his life? Have you tried to sit down with your child and get him to communicate what he is feeling and to have him describe, to the best of his ability, why he feels he needs to do these things? Have you told him that he is, and will always be, loved and no one can take his place in your life? Maybe some of these things might help. Otherwise, perhaps you can find a counselor who can give you some insight about how he thinks/feels and suggestions on how to work with him?

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So, it is harsh. But call the police if it ever happens again. He needs to be taken away in a police car to know what it's like in the real adult world when you behave that way. Your safety is much more important than caring for your son at this point.

Tracey - posted on 05/14/2013

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Thank you he is round my sisters at the moment as been since yesterday but all I want is my son back. I'm in bits. I haven't even spoken to him. Like you his door is hanging off its hinges n looks terrible but I ave left it like it. His floor you can't see as clothes everywhere. Main thing that gets to me is everytime I get a new man he goes mental at them or in front of them n then I never see them again. I'll give what you said a try n see what happens thank you so much for ur reply xx

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