Caught step-daughter with boyfriend, should I tell my husband?

Melissa - posted on 03/09/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been married for about a year, despite me being younger than my husband (I'm 29, he's 40), I've always had a good relationship with his daughters. A few days ago, I came home to find my 18 yr old step-daughter locked in her bedroom with her boyfriend, I don't know if they were having sex or not, but I can only assume. She has been evading me since that day, and I have been feeling betrayed, especially because right after our wedding, she confessed to her dad that she had just gotten an abortion. Naturally my husband was devastated, but he went ahead and gave her his trust when she talked to him about going out and having a boyfriend. She's a really good girl, has good grades in school, participates in sports, etc., which is why I'm very adamant to tell my husband about the incident, but I still feel guilty for not telling him. Should I, or should I not?

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Brandy - posted on 03/10/2013

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Most definitely I feel that you should tell your husband, if he is to find out later for one reason or another it could come back and he could feel betrayed by you for not telling him. I would talk with her and your husband together, because obviously if she avoiding you, she was doing something that she was not supposed to be doing. If she has already had one abortion, remind her that if she ends up pregnant that having abortions can stop your reproductive system from working correctly and when she is ready to have children with her husband that she may not be able to. (from experience I speak). Best of luck.

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Amy - posted on 03/18/2013

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I would tell him just so there isn't a secret between you two. However, she is 18 so I'm not sure why it seems to be a problem. Unless there is a rule in the house against it. She is an adult but staying under your roof and not paying rent (if she isn't) means she should still have to respect and follow your house rules.

Melissa - posted on 03/13/2013

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Thank you so much for your advise. I have decided that I should tell my husband so that we can both talk to her.

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