Sylvian - posted on 12/19/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )




I need help getting my children to help with chores. It doesn't matter if i talk away phones, video games. T.v. nothing has worked. In the past we had chore list and everything and, were talking about 13,12,and a 9 year old. please help with some ideas


Terry - posted on 12/20/2009




We do 15 mins of housework a day. Not much time so they don't mind so much. All rooms are divided into small jobs that can be completed in 15 or less. Like the bathroom: the tub, the sink and mirror area, the toilet, the shower walls, etc. Nobody ends up feeling like they spend all day cleaning and if you have 3 people, including yourself, working then that's 45 mins worth of work completed each day. You could make a list of small jobs and allow them to choose or you choose which to do. I also use housecleaning as a punishment. So the choice is: Do you want to do only 15 mins of housework or would you like to continue the behavior while I add time to it? It seems to work for me, but it took a while to go smoothly. Be consistent. The upside is: if you use this as the occasional punishment you get some time off from your housework. When is the last time a punishment for bad behavior didn't end up punishing you? Don't let them rest up b4 starting the daily 15 mins of housework. It's just a stalling tactic and they are never really ready to start.


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Cindy - posted on 12/30/2009




I have a chore list as well with pictures and for each day of the week. My son is 15 now and knows what his chores are but when he was younger I would make him check off each one once they were completed and I knew they were (or put a push pin in each box so you don't have to print news ones each week). I give him 30 minutes after school to relax or eat something and then chores need to be completed. No questions, no compromising. He doesn't go out, no Xbox, no TV...nothing until they are done. And, like everyone else is saying you have to be consistent and NOT give in...EVER. Once you give in, they know you will again and will pull every string they have to make that happen. It's so important that our children contribute to the household. It teaches them responsibility and will make them responsible adults. My son does his own laundry now and trust me, at 15, he doesn't want to wear dirty clothes. I have 8 cats and he is responsible to scoop all 5 huge litter pans as well as feed them and give fresh water. He also cuts the lawn once a week and washes all the floors in the house. After a while, it become second nature to them and they accept it. Don't give in!

Amy - posted on 12/30/2009




My kids had issues with chores, too, when I started them on chores when they were 9 and 10. I took care of it. I made them sit in the living room with tv, radio, games, phone, NOTHING. It took a couple times, but when they have hours of nothing, they go nuts. They finally broke and did them, now I just text them their chore list every day and they're done. Stick to your guns!

Andrea - posted on 12/20/2009




hey sylvian, and sharon ,you no i had/have the same problem my daughter will not clean the kitchen for nothing. ok one time before i had told her to clean it because i had a cast on my hand/arm it went 2 days so i took stuff away told her when she did she could have it back, well 2 weeks went by still nothing, i took more away, another week went by, nothing, it was to the point where we had absolutly no dishes in the kitchen , i even had to ground her to her room but she didnt care as long as she didnt have to do the dishes. but i ended up having to do them because a month had went by and i just could not stand it any longer. but she didnt get her stuff back either for anther 6 months. and till this day i can not get her to clean them all she will do is just straighten them.

Shelly - posted on 12/19/2009





Sweety when they want to go some were or doing something special the answer is no!!! They want to go to a special thing at school oh well I just can seem to find the time to take you b/c I'm having to do every thing around the house so I have no time to take you...It's called you do for me I do for you and if they don't want to go that route well then they will be spending alot of time at home!!!

Kathleen/Deborah - posted on 12/19/2009




Hi Sylvian, , , I know what you are going thru. I have a son that is 15 and CHORES are not in his vocabulary. I do know that you MUST stay consistant and not waver from your RULES.

As long as the children are in your home, , ,everyone is responsible in doing chores. There are several ways to manage the chores and if they get done. A CHART enhances one to remember what needs to be done on a daily basis.

I would have a 'Family meeting' with all your children. Before the meeting take some quiet time and list all the CHORES that can be done in the house. Mark the ones that don't need to be done on a daily basis. Mark the ones that need to be done weekly, couple times a week and daily. Check each one for easiest to hardest.

In the meeting I would bring a format of what you need to cover in this meeting. You don't want the children to side track you. This meeting must be a time where you share with each child what you expect of them during the week.

I would make a Weekly Chore List for each child -- this will make it very simple for each child. Whatever you do you must be CONSISTANT! There are many sites online where you can get help with ideas about CHORES! You are in my Prayers!!

Sharon - posted on 12/19/2009




the most important thing you can do is be consistent even though you take away things they love do you give them back to easy if they have not earn them back don't give them back they might test you to see who holds out the longest keep to your word they know when your bluffing don't ever bluff and don't do it for them if you have to take away everything do it . if they want it back they must earn it by doing all their chores.. i would tell my kids if i find it on the floor i lock it up and they don't get it back until all chores are done.and not just for that day they would need to give me at lest a week. even clothes i took away all their clothes but a weeks worth they had to clean them and put them away for a week or two before they were aloud to have the rest back.. once i took everything they owned and put it in the barn all they had was clothes and a bed .. no tv no game no staying up late no phone and i would tell their friends they could not talk on the phone .. and i would mean it .. if i said one week it was one week consistency is the key if you say you must earn it back don't give it back until they do

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