criticism from daughter's friends and their parents

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Parenting my now 15 yo old daughter has always been a challenge. She is an envelope pusher, and our relationship has always been difficult. I have had tremendous difficulty getting close to her, and this has pained me greatly. Now that she is a teenager, my husband and I have had to get very strict with her because of how she is, and some choices she has made. She doesn't get into major trouble, but she does push the limit, argues constantly, which has gotten herself in some trouble both at home and at school. Again, nothing major, but enough to cause us to tighten the reins. Her friends are generally good kids, no drugs, good students, etc. However, some of the moms run circles making their daughters happy - so I see some entitlement issues with some of her friends. Lately, my daughter has been telling me that I have a reputation for being too strict, and that her friends and their moms think that I am harsh (the moms have allegedly made comments to their daughters, which have gotten back to my daughter). I do think these ppl have actually said these things just based on "vibes" I am getting. We have never hit our daughter, but she does get grounded fairly often due to choices she makes. Sometimes I feel like today's teens are allowed to do anything and there is so much entitlement. I told my daughter that that I am not out to win a popularity contest - but it still hurts that I an not viewed as the "fun mom" as this was never been how I thought it would be. She treats me like dirt, but she seems to love her friends moms. It hurts! I do have anxiety issues and this has caused me to make mistakes, but I think I have generally been a good parent. She is verbally and emotionally abusive to me, and I can tell you I have never been unkind to her (angry at times, annoyed at times, stressed at times, anxious many times,but never mean). Moms of teens, what is your take on this? thx

3 Comments

View replies by

Glory - posted on 05/21/2016

6

0

0

Hi Sara, the teenage years can be the hardest, perhaps for our children as well. They are trying to fit in. You are the mom, not her friend. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Hold on to this verse, even when you are treated like dirt. Continue to love, teach, and discipline her. Teach her your values and how she should be behaving. Remind her that even if she does not agree with your decisions or parenting ways, you are doing it for her well-being and the health of the family. Your love and rules will be the stable force in her life.

Pray, pray, and pray, for wisdom from Our Loving Creator to show her the way she should go, and pray for your child, always. Cry when you want to, and take your breaks when you need to, even from the moment and the strong emotions in the moment.

Appreciate her. Let her know the great things she is doing, does, is. Hug her, and tell her all the time that you love her.

As she grows up, and knows herself better, and when she gets past her teenage years, she will value you more. You might see glimpses of that along the way.

Our children are borrowed from God. We only have them for a time. Never, ever, give up on them. Always love and do your part as a parent.

God bless you, your daughter, and family.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms