Dad wants in sons life after 13 yrs

Wendy - posted on 02/10/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi my son is now 13 he's knows about his real dad and all the truth ... He's never met him.. My bf of 10 years has basically been his dad but two years ago I told him about his real dad.. And now his father wants to get to know him ... Should I let my 13 year old son decide if he wants to meet him ?

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Jodi - posted on 02/11/2015

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Yes. This decision should be your son's. And whatever you do, don't be upset if your son decides he wants to meet his dad. It's not about you in any way. It's not that he doesn't respect you or that he thinks less of you. He will be curious. It may or may not work out for him, but that is his call to make.

Can I ask why he has never met his dad? Because that story can make a bit of a difference as to how this will play out. As will the story you told your son.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/13/2015

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It's not up to you. It's up to your son, and his father, and the courts (if your son has not reached the age where he would be allowed to decide).

Raye - posted on 02/11/2015

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I agree with Jodi, to let your son make the decision whether to meet him and to make sure your son is comfortable with any new arrangement. I would start slow, meeting in a public place and allowing the father supervised visits. If they seem to get along, then you probably want to get a visitation schedule set up in the court, so your ex knows what his limitations are and he can't just decide to take off with the boy or something.

Wendy - posted on 02/11/2015

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I have told him two years ago that the guy I'm with is not his real dad and I told him the truth about the past but I haven't mentioned that his father wants to be part of his life as I just found out yesterday . I am gonna talk to my son this weekend not right now since he goes to school I want him to concentrate and I wanna talk to my bf first so the 3 of us can talk about it

Jodi - posted on 02/11/2015

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Whatever happens at this point, it should go at your son's pace. Your son needs to feel comfortable with this process. Have you talked to your son about it yet?

Wendy - posted on 02/11/2015

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Hi Jodi , I don't know if you will get this reply . I'm not sure how it works lol he hasn't met his dad cuz his dad kept saying the baby wasn't his and I even proved to him that the baby was his but he was sick he said I was sleeping around he's done to his previous gfs too I've been told and I wasn't going to stay in a relationship with the father of was gonna keep saying the baby wasn't his and keep leaving me for nothing ... My son knows about him just never met him .. But I feel like if I don't tell him that he slowly wants to get to know him that my son is going to hate me in the end for keeping that from him ..

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