Daughter is suicidal...

Gina - posted on 10/24/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Anyone know of a support group - it can be online. My daughter is 16 and is suicidal, she has reached out for help, but lives a very depressed life, doesn't care about anything, her emotions are a roller coaster and i never know what is going to set her off, some days she does awesome, some days are not good. I just recieed a call from hotline that she was out and was having suicidal thoughts - I went and got her. I am taking her to the ER so I can get her back into a facility, she is upstairs pacing her bag now.

I am in desperate need of a support group of some kind. I cant depend on my husband to give me the emotional support I need - I cant depend on my ex-husband either. I just started a new job, which i my have to quit now.....

I am trying to find something, but don't knowa whole lot about computer stuff.

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Gina - posted on 10/24/2012

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Support group for me. I am at the hospital right now, I will ask them - thank you for that.

She sees a few different counselors.

There are support groups I have found but for survivors of suicides..... I just need support to get through this. All I hear from family and the few friends that know is that I have to be strong for her, I can't break down.... I know that, but its not easy.

Kristi - posted on 11/01/2012

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Gina--



I'm so sorry for your situation. I've suffered from mental illness since I was 15. I am now 41. I attempted suicide on more than one occasion and I am a cutter. My mom has been there for me every step of the way, well as much as I would let her at first. Even when I believed I needed my then fiancé's "acceptance and love" more than I needed air and moved 1500 miles away, she was still there for me. My family has gone through hell and back a few times on my account.



I didn't really start to realize that until I had children of my own and I thought about how I would feel if I got the 2am phone call saying, "Your daughter is here and we're not sure if she's going to make it." I began to appreciate my mom so much more but I still couldn't see the suffering I was causing her. My illness has been just so bad that it has been almost impossible for me to see cause and effect on anybody but myself. It was not until this last year and a half that I've been finding out the anguish my mom went through almost everyday. My dad and sister begged her to get counseling but she didn't think she could talk to anybody else about "it." My dad recently told me that every time the phone would ring her eyes would well up because she was sure it was going to be "that call." He said she stopped eating and would stay in bed and cry for days.



I'm not telling you this to scare you or to make you feel worse, although it may seem so. I just want you to understand that it is vital for you to get help and take care of your needs as well. You need to eat healthy, exercise, have some me-time, go to counseling, alone and with your daughter if she's willing, continue to make at least a little time for your husband and friends, even if it is just renting a movie or a 20 min phone call just to touch base. I know that might sound like it's selfish but it's not. You need to stay physically and mentally fit. You must maintain your own identity and not be swallowed whole by this. My mom wishes should would have had the courage to go to a therapist and/or a support group.



I agree with the other moms about the right combination of dr/therapist/medication. It can be a time consuming and frustrating process because it's hard to get all three on the first try and same with the meds. Take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself. You are a human being and have emotions and feelings that need to be paid attention to. That is how you will stay strong for your daughter.



I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. You will both make it through this.

10 Comments

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Nvizard - posted on 01/08/2014

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I have found from my own daughter's experience that DBT training- dialectic behavioral training is phenomenal. Ask your local mental health orginization if anyone offers these classes- its a group therapy and I have seen many cutters/ suicidal teens become much much better from about 6 months of therapy

Connie - posted on 11/01/2012

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I have a son who has been suicidal. He has been in and out of the hospital for the last two months. I am finally going to start taking care of me. Look to your local chapter of NAMI: National Association for Mental Illness. Most chapters have support groups for parents with mentally ill children/teenagers.

Cassandra - posted on 10/27/2012

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Ask the dr's at the psychiatric facility for information on support groups. I've had to hospitalize my son several times due to being suicidal. Having a psychiatrist and therapists, possibly medication to help with the mood swings can also make a big difference. Please don't think I'm trying to tell you what to do, I'm just throwing out things that have helped me. Use the program that she is in for resources, they should know what is available in your area.

Alexis - posted on 10/25/2012

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Try this







Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Rebecca - posted on 10/25/2012

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I hope your daughter's doing better and you did the right thing taking her to the hospital. It sounds like your daughter may need to be on medication for stabilization. Once someone has reached that point, it is difficult to just "will" yourself out of suicidal ideations. I agree with some of the other posters that finding a good counselor or psychologist is essential for her to work through whatever she is going through. Sometimes it can be difficult finding the right fit w/a counselor/psychologist however, don't give up if she doesn't like the first one, try again. If finances are tight, there are places where counseling services are offered on a sliding scale and/or based on your income, etc. I think after she's stabilized on medication and you've set her up with a counselor/psychologist, a support group will be just that extra cushioning. I'm unsure which area you're in but I know the hospital would be able to give you information regarding support groups for teens and support groups for yourself because it's not easy on you either not having your own support system. Hang in there; it's not easy. She's going through depression and adolescence.



Rebecca

Kristin - posted on 10/24/2012

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Most towns have a mental health department and that is where you will find a support group to help you through this tough time. On a somewhat positive note i dont believe your daughter will actually commit suicide as most will just do it; i think she is crying out for help and attention and asking for help is always the first step to recovery. I will pray for you and your dayughter just keep strong for her.

Amy - posted on 10/24/2012

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If the hospital can't help you call the same suicide hotline that your daughter called they must have resources for parents. Good luck and I hope you daughter gets through this.

Amy - posted on 10/24/2012

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Are you looking for a support group for you or your daughter? Is your daughter seeing a counselor on a regular basis? Where do you live, you could probably just call a local hospital most have support groups for everything.

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