Defiant 14 year old daughter

Pamela - posted on 06/05/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I sent my 14 yr old daughter to stay with her dad in November. She was being very dusrespectful to me. She was cussing , expressef her intention of having sex with her boyfriend, smoked pot at a friends house. Her dad said he would "straighten her out", and be able to give her individual attention as I have 4 other children. She has gotten worse. She was suppose to come home this summer. I don't know what to do. She is in counseling. Yesterday I found out she has had sex, been smoking pot, taking speed, drinking , failing. I am devastated. Her dad has claimed to be keeping tabs in her. He has give her an iphone and allows her to walk home from school and hang out with other kids in the parking lot of an apartment complex. I need advice badly.

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Chet - posted on 06/15/2014

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I'm not sure there's a lot you can do. If I understand correctly, this child is not in your care and is already in counselling.

It may give you some peace to know that teens often go through a rough patch and are okay in the end. They learn from their mistakes, they mature, and are ultimately fine - they might not choose the path you would have chosen, but they still grow up to good people. Smoking pot or having sex at 14 doesn't make you a write off for life.

If you have contact with your daughter try to be resource for her, not a source of criticism. Encourage her to find something the inspires her - a hobby, interest or passion.

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