Discipline Issues

Jessie - posted on 11/06/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son is almost 13 and we are having some issues that I find to be getting worse. He sneaks and eats food and then hides the evidence. His grades are dropping in school. He seems shut off but when we try to talk to him he says nothing is wrong. He doesn't have but three chores which is to clean his bathroom, bedroom, and feed and water our animals. Half of the time he doesn't do it. I have taken away all his electronics, legos, etc and nothing seems to work. I even made him pull weeds and told him that once he was done he would be ungrounded and it still took him 3 wks to do it. He has no drive to do anything. Can anyone help me out?

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Jessie - posted on 11/06/2014

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My shifts change. Usually I am home but recently I've had to work more evenings. I take up all the time I can with him when I am home. We work on lots of projects together. I wish I could get him to open up to me. I guess it's a teen thing. His behavior lately has been bad. He took a knife and cut a chunk of wood out of my kitchen table and says he has no reason for doing it. He says he doesn't care about school anymore so that is why he doesn't try.

Chet - posted on 11/06/2014

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I saw your other post, the one about your son wanting you to quit your job. I understand that you can't just quit, but would it be possible to adjust your shifts to be around more? I suspect that would help with your son's mood and behaviour, especially since he specifically asked.

A lot of kids and teens won't spill their problems when asked point blank. You need to
invest a lot of time to find out what's going on - and even then it's often a combination of them sharing information, and you observing carefully and putting some of the pieces together yourself.

Finding things you can do together, working side by side to achieve something may help his work ethic and help him to start opening up to you. Cook meals together. Weeds the garden together.

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