disrespectful 13 yr old son

Maria - posted on 09/29/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

5

0

2

My son called me a fucking bitch today because i told him he couldn't go to his friends house. I have been having trouble with him for the last year or so. He ran away about a month ago when i found him he refused to get in the car i had to pick him up over my shoulder and carry him like a 2 year old across a field. He is bigger than me and always makes remarks about how he can beat me up. I have taken pretty much everything from him cell phone, videos games, tv, computer as well as not being to go to friends and he still misbehaves. I tell him his life isnt that bad my sons response is no his life isnt bad he just doesn't like me and doesn't want to follow my rules. He is now telling me he will run away when I'm at work or while im sleeping. It always turns into screaming match when i say no mean while his 12 yr old sister has to hear constant fighting and she doesn't want to be around him. I don't know what to do anymore

5 Comments

View replies by

Debbie - posted on 10/17/2014

2

0

0

have someone from the police department talk to him and have them explain to him what goes on in juvie ask him if he wants to go there until he is 18 also he needs someone to talk to sounds like something is going on that you don't know about

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/30/2014

13,264

21

2015

In one sentence you say that you had to put him over your shoulder like a 2 year old to physically remove him from a situation, yet in the very next you say he's bigger than you...so which is it?

You have a 13 YO acting out. It's normal at that age to act out, and you need to meet each time with the patience and wisdom that you, as the adult, possess. Sounds like you need to get him and the rest of the family into counseling, as well as some one on one time with a counselor for him. You need to figure out WHAT makes him act out...this didn't just start, nor has it been hiding in the woodwork. A kid that makes a statement like "I don't like you and don't want to follow your rules"...Is a kid who's trying to exert his individuality. That doesn't mean you let it happen...he can be an individual within the rules of the home. Oh, and having dad involved isn't necessary. NICE, but not necessary.

Good luck

Raye - posted on 09/30/2014

3,770

0

23

I ran away three times when I was a kid, and was very disrespectful to my mom who was a single mom raising me and my sister. The third time I left, the fight between us was pretty physical and I ran out of the house and went to my boyfriend's. My mom set up a meeting with the police and someone from Juvenile Detention, and they basically told me I had to stay home and follow rules until I was 18 or I'd be taken to Juvie. I realized my mom would probably follow through with the threat, so I didn't act out as much and waited til I was 18 and could leave.

The biggest reason I acted out was that I felt my mom never had much faith in me, and I don't know what I did or didn't do to make her feel that way. I got decent grades, I made it to state level in an academic contest (which she didn't let me go), I never smoked or did drugs. Yet it felt like I could never be good enough. So, if she already believed I was bad (for no reason), then why not give her a reason? Once I graduated High School, I was the first in my family to go to college (even though I didn't finish). I've worked since I was 16 and worked hard for everything I have. And, now I'm the good daughter. It took time, but my mom and I started getting along really well when I was in my late 20's.

It seems to me that your son is hurting over something. So, my advice is to try to find out why he's acting up. Can you think of anything that happened around the time he started acting out? Why doesn't he like you? How have you made him feel? I'm not saying that you did anything on purpose, but kids may misinterpret your intentions when you're just trying to do the best you can as a parent. You might look into counseling to find out what is at the heart of his behavior and how you can overcome it and regain control.

I wish you luck.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms