Do you wake your teenager up for school?

Robin - posted on 03/14/2013 ( 40 moms have responded )

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I would like to know how many of you wake your teens up in the morning. Thanks

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John - posted on 11/25/2014

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My son is 16, overall a really good kid. Tells us he loves us all the time, comes home on Curfew or texts us if he will be a few minutes late, give us hugs, does pretty well in school (for the amount of time I see him working on it...lol). Doesn't drink or do drugs.....as far as we know...I am not blind enough to know he has tried pot or had a beer with buddies, but honestly there isn't an issue there.

Our issue is that he just will not get up on time, or even be ready on time for ANYTHING!!! But of course mornings for school are the worst. I leave first for work and I feel so sorry for my wife; it’s to the point where I am actually concerned for her health because of the battle she put up every day trying to get him out of the house so SHE CAN DRIVE HIM to school. I know, I know, she should just leave him walk (about 2.5 miles) or try to catch a bus (not very convenient from our area), but she just can't. We tried taking things away, offering rewards etc., but that just seems to work for a very short term. I know he doesn't get enough sleep. One thing we have never done is take his electronics away at night; I suppose we need to try that now. But it goes even deeper. We have to nag at him to get out of the house for everything, even things that he really loves and wants to attend. He loves sports and never wants to miss, but have to drag him out and fight to get him there on time. Almost missed a flight for a vacation he was totally looking forward to because he simply would not get out of the shower, etc. etc. We love the kid to death, but he is driving us nuts. He say he feels the whole family is always against him (we have a 19 yr. old daughter that joins the fight). We seem to be fighting more and more now about trivial things, he never admits he is wrong about anything or takes blame. Anything we tell him that he doesn't want to hear (chores, time, advice on school, getting a job, life) he will just shut us down and start an argument, an then turn it around that the family is all against him and he isn't arguing...so then we argue about who doesn't want to argue the most!!! I am thinking maybe a reality show might be in our future.lol Anyway, I know he is 16 and these are challenging time for parents, we love him so much and don't want to fight him all the time and ground him and take things away. There has to be something we are missing.....HELP!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 03/27/2013

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My daughter is 17. I do not wake her up for school. I do not do her laundry. I do not clean her bathroom or her bedroom, nor do I hassle her to do it herself. I have a calendar on the wall for the whole family and I do not drive her to (or pay for) anything that is not written on that calendar.
I do have rules in place with regards to what happens if she doesn't do these things on her own. For example, if she is late to school during the week, she is not allowed to have a date with her boyfriend on the weekend. If she doesn't ask for permission in advance to put her planned activities on the calendar, she doesn't get a ride or money for that event, and so on.
As my daughter has grown up, I have trained her to manage her grades, and school work. I have taught her how to take care of herself, and get herself up in the morning, and so on. In the end, I believe my job as her parent is to teach her to take care of herself so that she doesn't have to learn all these things on her own when she moves out...

Joseph - posted on 07/19/2014

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I wish you would all talk to my , um girlfriend? - ex fiancé. We have disagreements, arguments and fights over her 17 yr old 6ft son. We love each other, enjoy each others company (her and I), but I got to the point where I want to live alone so we don't fight, so I am not supporting her son, or being disobeyed, disrespected and outright imposed upon, interrupted etc. So we have a very intelligent, talk boy who was brought up by, IMHO , not dogs or wolfs but lazy ole women (sorry ladies - need to stress my point).
So this teen doesn't wake up, mommy wakes him, he doesn't return his books to the library, its almost a mile away, that takes effort and exertion. They can wait, be weeks overdo, mommy will take me. We have had out fights over him not flushing, or washing his hands, touching the walls, going in the fridge, eating, (again no washing), leaving the fridge open for hours, not doing homework, getting poor grades, Lying to us, disobeying my house rules and so much more. I truly feel Mommy doesn't want him to have to earn anything, or exert himself, or walk 6 minutes a few houses down the block to school. I believe she never told him no, never had boundaries (hence our argument about him not coming into my bedroom, helping himself to my stuff etc). I bought him an alarm for Christmas and his birthday as every alarm we had is broke, doesn't work. Again, a lie. I can tell you, having a child, teen person not be accountable, responsible, learn integrity, or exert themselves, or not have consequences is a recipe for an adult that doesn't earn anything and is lazy and dirty as sin. I wanted him to be happy and respectable but I don't trust him, and have trouble forgiving him as she doesn't enforce any rules we set or make him earn anything. I am looking forward to him leaving so I can de germ and destink my home and not feel disrespected and used. So I can not feel lik,e we wil hyave a 30 year old lazy dirtry man imposing and burdening us and disrepecting me and my House. The kid could get straight A's with a teeny bit of effort. We had agreed if he didn't do homework or got poor grades then no internet. Well Mommy doesn't want to enforce that cause he may pout. It's mean to make him go to the library on his own, and she doesn't want to have to drive him. He cant do even 3 pushups or clean up after himself, or keep a sheet on his bed (dont smell the room or mattress you may get ill). So I told her he can stay to finish his senior year but he cant stay for college. That was the deal before we moved in together and I don't want to support him or en trust him in my home. I have been lied to, disrespected, deceived, disobeyed long enough. If she moves out so her son can do as he pleases without me complaining or making him pout, I do not wasn't her visiting me with his dirty laundry. Sorry, kid needs to do his own laundry or mommy can do it and pay for it elsewhere.

I can mention more bad things he has done or things he has broke or how his laziness pervades so many aspects of his life but his mom doesnt want to punish him. Even the one time I thought she did punish him she took him out to eat and bought him a 50th pair of sneakers. He must have been pouting.
Did I mention I really don't get much help with any bills? She is broke from chauffeuring her son and paying for his sports and clubs he doesn't attend cause its too much effort.

I really thought she would let him oversleep, walk to school, be late, get detention if multiple occurrences, and get him to change, be responsible, and turn into a good man and citizen. No, she agrees with me, we should be apart and will move with him at dire expense to herself so he doesn't have to wake up, earn, or exert himself.
I should feel like good riddance, not for me, cut my losses etc.

I don't get it, so many parents baby their teens and young adults like they are helpless, sickly, or plain lazy idiots. Oh its mean for them, to walk 4 minutes?
Oh she doesn't like alarms, he sleeps deep. too many parents not making their kids earn, paying for their phones, driving them everywhere, paying for their apartments,.
What happened to natural consequences, to what our parents and grandparents taught us? I just don't get it. Should I have let him do what he wants, flush for him, clean up after him, etc?

How many men and women earned and worked hard to have a career, a home, and good life, nice things why allow anyone to waste resources, and destroy those things, and disrespect all that?

Barbara - posted on 03/29/2013

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Yes, I do. My daughter is 15, has two alarm clocks in her bedroom, one right next to her pillow on her bedside table. I still have to wake her up every morning. Many teens are heavy sleepers, mine can sleep right through both alarm clocks, even though I feel the windows are rattling in her room from the noise. It's far more important to me that she be at school on time than worry about the 'responsibility' of getting herself up. Once up she takes the lead and brushes her hair, gets her makeup on, and gets going. If she's short on time, I even make her lunch for her two or three times a week (that ensures she gets a serving of fruit at lunch instead of the chips she might stash!) I feel that in a few short years she will be going off to college, probably sleeping in a dorm room and I won't have the opportunity of waking her up, so it's my connection with the 'little girl' she used to be and I love the daily routine of this.

Marlene - posted on 04/06/2013

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Its funny - I have 3 son, ages 13, 15 and 18....and the only one who is able to wake up on his own is the 13 year old. I still wake up the other two, but really - I don't think I should have to. It is a problem, because I don't trust them to get up on their own.

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Melissa - posted on 01/20/2015

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No. I do not wake up my kids for school. They're out the door before me. They set their alarm , they make their own breakfast and before you know it. They are out the door. They actually wake me up. I'm glad I can trust them. Of course I get up just to make sure no one accidentally over slept. Then I lay back down till its time for me to get ready. They kiss me goodbye and done.

Joseph - posted on 01/10/2015

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My ex fiancé's son didn't get himself up. Thus why I wanted to see how many enablers and babiers there are and how many parents expect their kids to be responsible and not a burden (IMHO).

a 6 foot boy-man, who doesn't have responsibility, discipline or integrity, doesnt flush, wash hand, doesn't exert himself in anyway, who doesn't do, but says "mommy-do" like a toddler (figuratively), and cant do 2 pushups, blows off homework, nah......

is behind the power curve right 0ff the bat every day but not awaking properly for school and I can see him living with Mommy till 50 or forever.

I couldnt understand it, and needed to take a poll.

thank you all.

Michelle - posted on 04/24/2013

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My daughter is now 14, but I stopped waking her up when she started Middle school, she was 11, I would already be up and make sure, my excuse was I always had to make her chocolate milk, but in reality, it was to make sure she would wake up on time and had everything done, at the same time, I would see what she was wearing to school. ;0)

Rhonda - posted on 04/09/2013

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My son is 13 and sleeps through his alarm everyday! I wake his up after it has been going off for about 5 minutes.....it just makes the morning go more smoothly that way.

Itayi - posted on 04/08/2013

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my daughter sets he alarm and wakes up herself. she sorts her self out ie lunch....

Terri - posted on 04/03/2013

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I wake up my two daughters every morning. Not only do I start their day by waking them, I tuck them in at night, visiting with them briefly and kissing them goodnight. It won't be long until they are gone (grown up, out of our household). I treasure these moments. I love my baby girls (oldest 18 in May, youngest 16).

Holly - posted on 04/03/2013

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as silly as this sounds, my mother used to com into my room and wake me up every morning. she would knock on my door, and open it slightly and tell me, "Holly, it's time to wake up" that was it.

Kristi - posted on 04/03/2013

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My daughter is 13 and I wake her up at 6:30, hit snooze and go back at 6:40. From there, she does everything else. If she does go back to sleep after 6:40 and misses the bus, I will take her but then she has to go to bed earlier for the next week. That drives her nuts because she is a night owl (just like me) and she just can't settle in so early. Needless to say, she rarely misses the bus.

As far as the whole responsibility issue goes, she shows me she is responsible in many other ways and in some ways she's more conscientious than certain adults I know, so I certainly don't mind waking her pretty face up in the morning. ♥

Enna - posted on 04/02/2013

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I think it's a process. My daughter is 13. Her alarm usually wakes her up, but then she just lays there. I think if I quit babying her, she would learn really quick that she needed to get herself out of bed. I think as they get older you need to give them more responsibility for it. Then eventually they'll do it on their own. If they don't learn to do it on their own, being late and getting tardies, (which lead to detention at my daughters school) might motivate them to get moving. When they are getting older, and that's not working, then you take away privileges.

[deleted account]

Yes, I do wake Manuela (11) up, otherwise she woudln´t make it or she would go to school without eating anything.

Kim - posted on 04/01/2013

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I always wake my kids 17 14 13. I do not work I actually set my alarm for 5:20 am to make sure they get up at 5:30. I did it for my oldest son also. He is now 21 has his own apartment hehas NEVER been late for college or work. Let kids be kids while they can.let them be responsible when the time comes. They get one childhood and a lifetime of responsibility just do it wisely.

Marian101 - posted on 03/30/2013

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i do wake up my 16th years old daughter every school day . I also make her lunch and breakfast . I take her to school . I am a maid . One more year till she is done .

Allyson - posted on 03/28/2013

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My kids are grown and gone now, but my girlfriend, single mom, has a 14 year old that has just become obstinate. She has to yell and yell at him to get him up! It is very stressful for the entire house. His father comes by at whim and tells him to get up as well, but if he doesn't feel like it, he simply will go back to sleep. If any punishment in implemented, he becomes very violent, (like his father) and disrespects his mom severly, breaks things, threatens, picks on 10 year old sister and will do just about anything to get his way. HOW can she possibly win here? I personally told him that if that kind of behavior continues, mom will have no choice but to let the courts know that he is incorragable, juvenile delinquent because he won't do as his mom asks, and the courts will become his guardians, with MUCH stricter rules for him, or jail....He was skeptical, but seems a lot calmer lately. It is a fact, that IF the child is out of control, you must file a letter with the courts that you no longer can be responsible for their behavior. This at least relieves you of expenses incurred by his misdeeds. I know it seems harsh, but better they learn now than when they become adults. If you do not impose boundaries and responsibilities, the kids have no security or self esteem, and that will last them a lifetime...not to mention your attempts at keeping them "safe" and alive through these hormonal teenage years...just saying..

Kim - posted on 03/27/2013

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No they need to be responsible for something right? They won't learn unless u do enforce responsibility while young

Jodi - posted on 03/25/2013

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I made it very clear to my son that if he couldn't get up in the morning, he needed more sleep and therefore earlier bedtime. Great incentive to be responsible. What teenager wants an earlier bedtime?

And I totally disagree that you can't trust them to get themselves up in the morning. Don't enable them.

Funnyfarm9988 - posted on 03/25/2013

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well, I dont know about yall, but my kid would never get up on her own. Its a fight to get her up in the morning. Yes, she should be responsible and do it on her own, but I cant trust her to do it. I do talk to her daily about responsibility. I have also talked to her friends and there moms and they say the same thing, you cant trust them to get up.

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Let her be...she'll come back to you later in life or when she needs comfort in a storm. These are her years to spend with friends. You could try inviting her to bring over a friend and watch a movie together. Just let her have time to figure out who she is away from you and know that she loves you. Have faith and know these are hard years for her too!

Neva Jane - posted on 03/24/2013

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i have a teenaged grand daughter who has stopped coming to stay with me . i get her and shes ready to go home in an hour she only calls if she wants to go shopping and expects me to buy only name brand things she says its boring at my house. i miss the times when she was little she would cry to come to grannys. how should i deal with this neva veitch

Hannah - posted on 03/24/2013

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I wake her up, but she falls back asleep and wakes to an alarm about 15 minutes later. But it helps that I wake her up first - I get her out of the deep sleep.

Kristy - posted on 03/23/2013

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My 14 and 15 year old wake themselves. I do go in and say good morning to my 12 year old who does not have to wake up as early. Our routine is down pat and she is usually awake, I think it is me who enjoys the routine with my youngest now that my older two no longer need this from me.

[deleted account]

no. my daughter is junior and she has been setting her alarm clock since she started high school.

Marilyn - posted on 03/21/2013

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Yes I do and me and her have breakfast is the morining we have a wonderful talks that mornings for us are very bonding for is ..

Pamela - posted on 03/20/2013

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yes I do. I believe teenagers need us most of all! It is a very difficult time for them. I wake up my teen, make her a hot breakfast and then her lunch for school. Showing them we are there for them is important. Even if sometimes they don't show they care they really do care :)

Angie - posted on 03/19/2013

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Junior High is when my boys began getting themselves up to an alarm clock. I think it is great self-discipline. My oldest is now 21 and since he leaves at 6 am before I have to get up for work, I'm sure glad that self-discipline worked & I don't have to wake him up every morning :)

Jodi - posted on 03/19/2013

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So why does this make them less capable of waking themselves up? If you don't hold your kids to a standard they will never meet it. When you have reasonable expectations of them (which includes setting and alarm and waking to it), maybe they will surprise you. As long as you continue to underestimate a teenager, they will meet your expectation. Hold them to a higher standard, and they will strive further.

Denise - posted on 03/18/2013

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Yes, I still do for both kids ages 17 and 13. If you look at brain development many kids are not fully ready and mature until about 20 or 21.

Nelly - posted on 03/17/2013

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I am a stay at home mom and I wake up my 3 teenagers and my 12 \year old. All I do is open their bedroom door and say good morning

Jodi - posted on 03/15/2013

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Really, when it comes down to it, at 15, they should be able to be responsible for getting themselves out of bed. If they aren't, how on earth are they going to ever get by in the real world in a few years? You wouldn't be doing your teen ANY favours if you don't have a system in place for them to get themselves up and ready every day.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/15/2013

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Nope, they're expected to be up and out all on their own. I stopped waking them when they turned 8 or 9.

If they oversleep or are obstinate about leaving bed, they get an icewater bath. Only had to do that once, though...and that was 10 years ago

Jodi - posted on 03/15/2013

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No, my son (15) has an alarm and has been getting himself out of bed since he was about 10. I have had to wake him a few times when he either accidentally didn't set it, or fell back to sleep, but it is rare.

Jennifer - posted on 03/14/2013

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Usually my daughter sets her alarm and gets up on her own. Occasionally, there have been times when she fell back asleep and I have to wake her up

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