Don't like daughter's friends!

Marie - posted on 10/27/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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In the last six months my 15 year old has switched friend groups to the more "popular" girls. These girls also have a reputation for drinking (and maybe vaping). I hear things about them sometimes from other parents -- but I don't have any first hand knowledge that it is true.

Anyhow, since she has began hanging out with them -- she has lied to us on at least three occasions about where she is. Her grades are not fantastic (she is in many advanced classes) -- they are horrible either, but I know her effort could be way more. She spends too much time texting and locating her friends on the "Find my Friend" app.

The parents of these girls give their daughters way more freedom than I am comfortable with. On several occasions, I have discovered her driving around past midnight withe various kids (I track her on her phone). On these occasions, she was always "spending the night" at one of these girl's houses. How is this ok with their parents???? (BTW-- I know several of them).

After this past weekend, I am ready to end these sleep-overs for good (she never, ever has them at my house). Saturday, she was driving around at 1:30am with one of the girls after "picking something up " (a cellphone she says) at a boy's house. Sorry, I don't thing 15 and 16 year old girls have any business out at that hour. Also, that girl legally should not even be driving at that time. My daughter, was of course, "spending the night" at this girl's house. I picked her up and made her come home and she was hysterical, saying I embarrassed her.

My daughter will defend these girls to the end of the earth -- they are her friends and she likes them! Me saying anything about them is useless. I am so heart-broken that she not longer hangs with her old friends who were nice girls.

My only thought at this time is that I have to set rules about curfews and parties and curtail these sleep-overs. I am beyond the point of being able to choose who she hangs with.

Any advice would be appreciated.

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Raye - posted on 10/27/2015

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You're on the right track. Definitely enforce curfew. And if she can't be responsible during the sleepovers, those need to stop. You say you track her phone when she's out, but are you also monitoring her texts and social media apps? You need to know who she's talking to and what she's up to.

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