Emotional Mom

Vicki - posted on 04/30/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Good Morning, my teenage daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 7 months. She found out he liked another girl and she ended the relationship. She asked me to block his texts and voice calls. At school he wanted to talk to her and she refused. He then spread a nasty rumor about her and she went to the Dean. I did not support her going to the Dean as I felt they needed to work it out. The Dean talked to him and the Dean is hopeful that he will leave my daughter alone. My daughter tells me she is over him and done with him and that she doesn't care to talk about him and she has no plans on ever talking to him again. My daughter has been an emotional mess and so have I. The boy was nice but he was nothing special. He was her support system this school year and he was there for her everyday which made me very comfortable sending her to school. She was bullied her Freshman year and she is not very social. She does not like girls and has very few friends. She alienated all of her friends for him and hasn't had any contact with them. She trusted and confided in him. One day after the breakup he was with the other girl, now they are in a relationship. My daughter tells me she is over him and doesn't care but I know she is hurting and when she sees them holding hands and kissing she is going to break down. She said she doesn't care to ever foregive him or talk to him. That bothers me as I don't feel any kid should hate someone as it only makes going to school more difficult. My heart hurts for her. How do I get over being so emotional?

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Pitrak - posted on 04/30/2013

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I was watching TV the other day and this wise old man was on - he spoke of how no one gets taught at school how to relate to others in ways that will help. We become adults he said, with very little education on human relationships.

Unfortunately kids can be cruel. Most of the time, it is because they cannot cope with their own feelings. In my experience strong emotions such as hate are part of the growth process of teens. She may be immersed in them today, but it doesn't mean these feelings will remain the same forever.

Your heart hurts for your child, just like my heart hurts for mine. Vicki, loving hurts but it is so much more life-saving than not loving; not feeling for a hurting child. You are witness to her experience, and that very simple act of sharing had a silent effect of creating a safe haven for your daughter; whether she chooses to enter it or not. It is there because you are there for her.

Thank you for sharing.

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