estranged from my 17yr old daughter

Jane - posted on 10/25/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi every one , I'm new and need some help and advice, In August I had to ask my daughter to find some where else to live as she had become involved with a boy 14mnts earlier and since she meet him her treatment of me got to the point where I was on the verge of a mental/emotional breakdown, I tried every thing to get close to her again the way we had always been , but she just seemed to hate me. I miss her so much and find life unbearable knowing I might never see her again and knowing she wants nothing to do with me, I desperately want to email her and beg her to forgive me or just see me , but I'm so scared of making it worse, please help, I feel so desperate and alone. thank you.

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Jane - posted on 10/28/2013

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Maria, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your post, you are right , she is very young, and I must remain mindful of this, My biggest fear is that some how and for reasons I do not understand all of the love and devotion over 17 years,, seems to have evaporated into thin air, sadly it has been brought to my attention that she is using facebook sites to tell as many people as she can find to listen that I am completely mentally unwell and made her life a complete misery, this information that has been brought to my attention since I first posted my message, perhaps I have to leave her with her own demons as she views me as some sort of evil witch intent on destroying her life and happiness, the reality is I love her more than words could ever express, and spend many of my days feeling as though all of my limbs have been amputated and the phantom pain of her loss to me increasing feels as though I will not live through it.Thank you for reading this , especially when it is pretty heavy and will all have our own lives and issues to deal with, but sometimes other can offer light at the end of a dark tunnel. my thanks again. jane.

Maria San - posted on 10/28/2013

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Hi Jane. Maybe you could take baby steps and just first send her an email or text asking her if she is okay and telling her that you love her. Kids this age are very difficult. I think it is important to let her know you care about her and that you will be there for her when she decides to start treating you with respect again. I believe we should always help our kids when they want to do good things, but have to be firm and not allow bad behavior. She will mature and remember that you were consistent and did not allow her to treat you badly. She will also remember that you told her you love her. Hang in there. Things will get better.

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